1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:02,640 Robert Plank: Hey, welcome back to the marketer of the day 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:07,080 podcast. We have, I think, third time guest, Kim 80s, from frame 3 00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:12,000 of mindcoaching.com Kim has the journal engine software, and she 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,180 has a whole coaching business that is centered around this 5 00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:19,560 journaling concept. Kim has a podcast that we haven't 6 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,220 discussed before, and we're going to be talking about all 7 00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:26,480 the things that Kim has been keeping herself busy with, from 8 00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:30,560 like thinking like a leader and making an impact and and talking 9 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,380 about challenges on her podcast. So we'll be talking about all 10 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,460 that and more. Kim from frame of mind coaching.com. Glad to be 11 00:00:37,460 --> 00:00:38,180 talking to you. 12 00:00:38,719 --> 00:00:42,219 Kim Ades: I'm so happy to be here again, third time visitor. 13 00:00:42,219 --> 00:00:45,459 They say the third time's the charm, right? So I'm excited. 14 00:00:45,820 --> 00:00:47,800 Robert Plank: So there. So this, this needs to be, like, a 15 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,140 really, really good one, compared to all those other 16 00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:55,540 terrible episodes, but all those terrible ones and so. So, yeah. 17 00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:58,300 So what have you been up to in the past, I think, year or so 18 00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:00,720 since we last spoke? Yeah, so 19 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,400 Kim Ades: you're right. One of the things I've always had a 20 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,780 podcast, but we changed the direction of our podcast, I 21 00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:13,740 guess, about a year ago, what happened was I decided to really 22 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:18,960 showcase our coaching. So now what we do is we literally coach 23 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,860 people live on the show. So it's called the frame of mind 24 00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:25,280 coaching podcast, and we invite leaders from all over the world 25 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:29,360 to come on to the podcast and share a challenge, and I coach 26 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,960 them on the spot. So it's kind of interesting. It's a little 27 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,300 challenging for me, because I don't always know what I'm going 28 00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:40,960 to get and and I just offer coaching right there in the 29 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:44,440 moment. So it's a lot of fun. And what I've had is really 30 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:48,220 great feedback, because a lot of people who are listening say 31 00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:51,340 that's my challenge, too. I have that problem. I've been 32 00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:55,120 struggling with the very same thing, and it's so strange to 33 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:58,660 hear it come out of someone else's mouth. So it's resonating 34 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:02,340 for people getting, you know, more downloads than my podcast 35 00:02:02,340 --> 00:02:06,660 has ever gotten. So we're excited that it's growing and it 36 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:10,140 and it really showcases at least a little slice of what we do, 37 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:15,240 Robert Plank: yeah, and it's lately with the whole like, 38 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,260 thinking about, like, what sort of content should you create, or 39 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,340 any like, what kind of podcast episodes. It's easy to get 40 00:02:22,340 --> 00:02:25,940 stuck, right? It's easy to say, well, I'll make I'll keep making 41 00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:28,760 out podcast content. I'll make an episode about this topic and 42 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,400 about that topic. And after a while, it's like, you kind of 43 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:35,300 run out of things to talk about. But then when you have like, 44 00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:40,840 like stories or people, or like a Colin type of podcast, which 45 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:45,400 is, in a way, what you're doing, then it seems like it can go on 46 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:49,900 forever, and it's different every time. But then there's 47 00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:52,480 also, like these kind of common threads at the same time, and it 48 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,600 feels more like entertaining, less instructional. So that's 49 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,880 kind of what I'm hearing when you say that you switched now to 50 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,900 this format of like with the guests. Now you basically have 51 00:03:01,020 --> 00:03:04,140 unlimited content without it getting stale. 52 00:03:04,439 --> 00:03:06,659 Kim Ades: Well, it definitely doesn't get stale, because every 53 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:09,779 person has their own personality, their own dynamic, 54 00:03:10,019 --> 00:03:12,779 but they're not here to teach any lesson. They're here to 55 00:03:12,779 --> 00:03:16,259 extract the coaching experience. So they come onto the show. 56 00:03:16,259 --> 00:03:19,139 Basically, I say, tell us a little bit about yourself, but 57 00:03:19,139 --> 00:03:21,979 what's your greatest challenge? So for example, today we 58 00:03:21,979 --> 00:03:26,059 recorded two episodes, and on the first episode, I had this 59 00:03:26,059 --> 00:03:30,319 young startup hustler who's, you know, not sleeping at night 60 00:03:30,319 --> 00:03:33,259 because he's growing his business. He can't really relate 61 00:03:33,259 --> 00:03:37,339 to anybody anymore. He feels isolated. He wants to be moving 62 00:03:37,339 --> 00:03:41,919 faster and like he's just a typical type, a kind of guy, and 63 00:03:41,919 --> 00:03:44,259 he's like, Well, what I'm really looking for is a little work 64 00:03:44,259 --> 00:03:46,899 life balance. I'm like, really, is that what you're looking for? 65 00:03:46,899 --> 00:03:48,999 Doesn't sound like that's what you're looking for. It sounds 66 00:03:48,999 --> 00:03:51,639 like you're looking for other people you can relate to. Like, 67 00:03:51,639 --> 00:03:54,819 yeah, that's it, right? And we talked a little bit about how 68 00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:58,239 work life balance is really not the goal. That's all. You know, 69 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:00,839 people say that's what I'm looking for, that's not really 70 00:04:00,839 --> 00:04:03,599 what they're looking for. They're really misguided in the 71 00:04:03,599 --> 00:04:07,919 desire for work life balance. And so we talked about that, and 72 00:04:07,919 --> 00:04:10,919 we talked about how to get connected with like minded 73 00:04:10,919 --> 00:04:15,779 individuals, and how to address his need for that connection, 74 00:04:15,779 --> 00:04:19,499 that intellectual stimulation through other peers, but also 75 00:04:19,499 --> 00:04:22,879 through coaching and through journaling as well. So that was 76 00:04:22,879 --> 00:04:27,619 one example of the podcast. The second podcast we recorded was 77 00:04:27,619 --> 00:04:30,979 with someone who was way more seasoned. So he's a guy who 78 00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:35,179 comes in either invests in a company or gets hired by a 79 00:04:35,179 --> 00:04:39,079 company to run a company. He's like a CEO, and it's his fifth 80 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:43,659 business. His his deal is to come in, grow it and sell it, 81 00:04:44,859 --> 00:04:48,339 and so he has to quickly learn about the business. And today's 82 00:04:48,339 --> 00:04:52,899 recording, he was six weeks into a new business. And so, you 83 00:04:52,899 --> 00:04:55,179 know, what's your greatest challenge? I asked him. He's 84 00:04:55,179 --> 00:04:58,119 like, Well, you know, I'm asking all the questions, but what's 85 00:04:58,119 --> 00:05:00,959 the best time to start implement. Thing, right? Because 86 00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:03,659 we need to gather a whole bunch of data. When we walk into a new 87 00:05:03,659 --> 00:05:07,379 organization or a new business, we can't just go in and start 88 00:05:07,499 --> 00:05:11,159 making changes without really spending time learning. So 89 00:05:11,159 --> 00:05:14,999 what's the right moment of change? What's the right moment 90 00:05:14,999 --> 00:05:18,419 to start pushing on implementation? And so, you 91 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:22,579 know, we talked about that, and you know, my guidance to him was 92 00:05:22,819 --> 00:05:25,219 that there are some things that are going to take longer to 93 00:05:25,219 --> 00:05:28,819 implement, but it's important as a leader to come in and try to 94 00:05:28,819 --> 00:05:33,019 find some easy wins. And so try to find places where you can 95 00:05:33,019 --> 00:05:36,199 make a difference quickly, and then work on those bigger, 96 00:05:36,199 --> 00:05:41,199 larger, more complicated strategies. And you know, he's 97 00:05:41,199 --> 00:05:43,899 clearly more experienced than me, but he agreed with that, 98 00:05:44,139 --> 00:05:47,319 with that approach. So we're getting all kinds of things, all 99 00:05:47,319 --> 00:05:51,939 kinds of different leaders, entrepreneurs on the show who 100 00:05:51,939 --> 00:05:56,199 have a million different challenges, and that makes it 101 00:05:56,199 --> 00:05:56,799 interesting. 102 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,780 Robert Plank: And it seems like from those two examples, it, 103 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:05,400 what comes to mind is that there was that, that first story where 104 00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:08,760 he was almost asking the wrong question, like there was there 105 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,860 was the question he thought needed answering, and you're 106 00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:13,800 like, well, instead, it needs to be this. And it only went when 107 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:18,120 you redirected, that could that be solved? And then the with the 108 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,020 second story, it seemed like there wasn't really a 109 00:06:21,020 --> 00:06:24,200 straightforward answer, and you had to do some back and forth, 110 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,860 and maybe not even have a, like, a resolution in mind, but just 111 00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:31,220 be like, Okay, well, here's some heavy things that that you've 112 00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:33,740 now thought about, or maybe you begun to make progress on 113 00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:38,120 thinking about this. And so it just seems like so many times we 114 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:41,740 we have a problem, and we go and do a Google search or post in a 115 00:06:41,740 --> 00:06:45,460 in a forum or something, and we get like we're asking the wrong 116 00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:48,340 question. We get the answers from the wrong people. We get 117 00:06:48,340 --> 00:06:51,940 the wrong answers. And so it seems like this is, to me, like 118 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,720 illustrating what what the googling does not get you right, 119 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,840 because sometimes there needs to be maybe a little bit more more 120 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,860 finesse to get to the a good answer, 121 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,240 Kim Ades: right? You're 100% right? So Google doesn't always 122 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,660 deal with the emotional stuff very well, right? They don't 123 00:07:09,660 --> 00:07:14,400 understand how to help you with frustration, right? Google 124 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,580 doesn't understand that. Google doesn't under understand how to 125 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:20,840 help you. They can give you a scientific response, but they 126 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,660 don't always give you a people a human response. So there's 127 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:28,220 definitely a shortcoming with respect to trying to Google 128 00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:32,240 answers for everything. So that's part a. Part b is you're 129 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:36,380 100% right about the fact that we're not asking the right 130 00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:40,900 questions. And so how do we get to the right questions? Someone 131 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:45,520 sometimes you need someone to ask the questions in order to 132 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,240 help you formulate the right question. So it's an iterative 133 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:54,520 process, and asking the right questions up front gets you to 134 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:58,840 the core of the pain, the suffering, the issue. So again, 135 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,280 with this gentleman, it wasn't that he was looking for balance. 136 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:05,040 He was looking for connection. But we didn't know that up 137 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,680 front. We had to do a little digging, and that's where 138 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:11,100 working with a coach really comes in handy. Really great 139 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:14,940 coaches are also really great at digging for the core issue. 140 00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:18,540 Robert Plank: And so with you doing this digging and kind of 141 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,560 asking the right questions sometimes early on, have you 142 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:26,060 noticed any commonalities like that work life balance thing is 143 00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:29,600 that happen a lot, or like, Have you begun to notice, like, any 144 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,740 repeat patterns 145 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,500 Kim Ades: that's a lot of people are seeking work life balance? 146 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,960 And I want to kind of address it, because I alluded to the 147 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,440 fact that that's not always really the right goal. And I'll 148 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,100 want to talk about that, because maybe some of your listeners are 149 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,920 going, What do you mean? It's not the right goal, right? But I 150 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,680 want to talk about it. So what happens when things are 151 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:51,100 perfectly in balance? So let's say you go to a playground and 152 00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:54,520 you see two kids on a seesaw, and they're in perfect balance. 153 00:08:54,520 --> 00:09:00,480 What's happening? Nothing, nothing, exactly. And so it's 154 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,180 great to have moments of nothing. It's not great to have 155 00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:08,820 a lifetime of nothing. Do you agree? And so, yeah, so 156 00:09:08,820 --> 00:09:12,720 sometimes we need to catch our breath, sure, but what we're 157 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:16,080 really looking for is the ride, the CISA, the up and down. We're 158 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:19,080 looking to have fun on the ride. So we're looking to be able to 159 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,460 enjoy the moments when you're you know, up at the top and down 160 00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:25,940 low at the bottom, and the bumps along the way. And a lot of 161 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:29,900 people aren't wired to enjoy the ride. They're just terrified. 162 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:32,540 They're scared, they're white knuckling. They're unhappy. They 163 00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:36,740 want to get off. They just, you know, and my job is to help you 164 00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:42,700 speak the ride that's fun for you, and help you max it. Max it 165 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,880 out, right? Help you really, really enjoy it. So I'm not 166 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,780 looking to help people live a life of stillness. I'm looking 167 00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:52,600 to help people live a life of greater ease, peace, 168 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:55,960 exhilaration and joy. And most people struggle with that 169 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:58,960 because they're so stressed out about everything, about their 170 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,920 accomplishments, their. Relationships, their status in 171 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,640 life, their financial situation, all of it, they're so stressed 172 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,780 that they don't know how to enjoy this ride. And so my job 173 00:10:09,780 --> 00:10:13,740 is to help people calm down so that they can enjoy the ride and 174 00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:17,100 live with passion and excitement. 175 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,500 Robert Plank: So is there a secret to calming down, or is it 176 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,320 the a matter of like the usual techniques we've always heard, 177 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,740 or is it change from person to person? How do we calm down and 178 00:10:27,740 --> 00:10:31,280 enjoy life so that we can choose the right that's correct for us? 179 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:31,820 So 180 00:10:31,819 --> 00:10:33,739 Kim Ades: I'll tell you something. You know, people 181 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:36,259 often say, Well, why don't you just go meditate that will help 182 00:10:36,259 --> 00:10:39,799 you calm down, and it does for a brief period of time. It helps 183 00:10:39,799 --> 00:10:43,179 you calm down until you're not calm anymore. And the reason why 184 00:10:43,179 --> 00:10:47,559 that happens is because meditation doesn't address the 185 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:51,879 source of the issue that's causing you to feel frazzled. 186 00:10:52,599 --> 00:10:55,839 And what I want to do is address the source of what's causing you 187 00:10:55,839 --> 00:11:01,679 to feel that stress that this ease, right? So what is the 188 00:11:01,679 --> 00:11:06,479 source of this ease? Often it's how we think. It's what we 189 00:11:06,479 --> 00:11:10,139 believe to be true about everything. So if we believe, 190 00:11:10,139 --> 00:11:14,639 for example, that we're not successful, that we're not where 191 00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:17,759 we should be, that we are ill equipped, that we're 192 00:11:17,759 --> 00:11:21,379 inexperienced, that we're not smart enough, all those beliefs 193 00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:25,279 cause stress, and very often, those are beliefs that we 194 00:11:25,279 --> 00:11:30,619 inherit or adopt or embrace that are purely invented. And so the 195 00:11:30,619 --> 00:11:34,699 beliefs we have will determine how we feel. And so in order for 196 00:11:34,699 --> 00:11:38,359 you to really calm down, we need to see, we need to identify, 197 00:11:38,359 --> 00:11:42,339 pull forth the beliefs that are causing you to feel stress, we 198 00:11:42,339 --> 00:11:44,019 need to address those beliefs. 199 00:11:45,159 --> 00:11:48,699 Robert Plank: And is there a common belief, or is it? Is it 200 00:11:48,699 --> 00:11:50,019 just depend on the person? 201 00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:53,320 Kim Ades: Everybody's a little bit different. There are 202 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,440 definitely commonalities from people to people, from person to 203 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,860 person, but everybody's different, and their beliefs are 204 00:11:59,860 --> 00:12:02,580 based on their upbringing, their background, their history, their 205 00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:07,620 family, their experiences, all of that, but everybody similar 206 00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:11,820 in the sense that what trips them up stems in their beliefs. 207 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,040 Robert Plank: That's simple, but it's powerful, and I think I can 208 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:22,280 relate to that a lot of kind of trying to, trying to figure out, 209 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:27,020 like, when, like, what is true, and sometimes trying to, like, 210 00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:29,540 see things from a different angle, and maybe thinking to 211 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:33,800 myself, like, well, here's how I naturally want to react to this 212 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:37,220 or panic about that. And then on purpose, knowing that maybe 213 00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:41,380 sometimes I need to do the opposite of what, what feels 214 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,980 normal, and then also thinking of like, well, I want to, I want 215 00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:48,640 to reduce my stress, but I also want to kind of be, like, aware 216 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,400 of the problem, like, take a problem seriously enough, and I 217 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,980 can relate to like, what you're saying. Of sometimes by not 218 00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:57,160 getting to the root of the problem, you kind of train 219 00:12:57,160 --> 00:13:00,600 yourself to ignore things that you that you shouldn't be 220 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,440 ignoring just in the in the name of being calmer and happier. 221 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,380 Kim Ades: Well, so so that you've said a lot, so I want to 222 00:13:07,380 --> 00:13:10,440 address some of it. I want to say to you that sometimes when 223 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:14,040 we have an experience that's negative, very often, what we do 224 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,980 is we focus on the negative aspects of that experience, or 225 00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:20,160 we focus on the problem. And what I want to teach people, 226 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,660 train them build up their muscle. To do is to look at the 227 00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:27,320 problem and say, Okay, I didn't like that so much. Here's what I 228 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,380 would rather have. And when we talk about the word pivoting, 229 00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:33,260 here's where pivoting matters. Here's what we're really 230 00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:37,160 meaning, it's turning our attention to that which serves 231 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,540 us, that which feels better, that which we want, as opposed 232 00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:44,620 to that which we don't right. That's the true essence of the 233 00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:47,980 term pivoting, is moving yourself towards what you want, 234 00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:51,280 as opposed to constantly focusing on what's not working 235 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,120 or what's a problem. So that's a very important thing. And when 236 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:58,600 we have that experience that we don't really like, I call that 237 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,740 contrast, because when we don't have an experience. We don't 238 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:06,120 really like nothing stands out. We can't say, Wow, that was much 239 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,300 better, because everything starts to blend together, right? 240 00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:12,420 So we need the contrast. The contrast helps us increase our 241 00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:17,580 clarity. It helps us become crystal clear about what where 242 00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:21,500 we're going and what we're aiming for, and so that those 243 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:26,420 negative experiences become high value. And the issue is in terms 244 00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:29,060 of calming down, is how we interpret those negative 245 00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:33,440 experiences, right? And so that's what helps us change our 246 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:37,340 disposition, and helps us relax and enjoy the ride. As I said 247 00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:37,820 before, 248 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,440 Robert Plank: so much to think about, and so many different 249 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,920 ways to, like, kind of turn the the bad into the good, or the 250 00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:48,100 kind of the pain into the pleasure, or like, kind of the 251 00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,860 useful pain. And like, you know, you talk about these where, 252 00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:54,460 like, the class two experiences, right? That like Tony Robbins 253 00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:57,640 talks about, and so like, something that kind of comes to 254 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,660 mind as we're kind of starting to get near the. At the end of 255 00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:04,260 this last few minutes is like, one of those activities that I 256 00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:07,860 feel like it's maybe like a weakness and it's not fun, but 257 00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:10,560 it's a thing that, like, I feel like I need to be doing is like 258 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,080 what we're doing right now, like more of the podcasting and more 259 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,680 of the socialness, which, like, as you know, there's a lot of 260 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,320 like, entrepreneurs and marketers who, like, they kind 261 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:23,180 of got into this because it was easier to not be social. And 262 00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:25,640 then before this call, we were talking about the pandemic, 263 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,480 where it's also easy to just be shut in a box. So do you have 264 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:33,860 any any advice or anything to think about for those of us 265 00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:37,100 that, like, know we need to be out there more, and can kind of 266 00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:41,380 get out there, but really wish, wish we could tap into that more 267 00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:43,840 of like the I don't know if it's a weakness or it should be a 268 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,320 weakness, but not being social, wanting to be more social and 269 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,060 networking more. Any advice? 270 00:15:49,479 --> 00:15:51,699 Kim Ades: Yeah, you know what? I think people are craving, not 271 00:15:51,699 --> 00:15:55,359 just conversation, but meaningful conversation. And so 272 00:15:55,359 --> 00:15:58,419 I think there's a lot of conversation that goes on that's 273 00:15:58,419 --> 00:16:03,419 a bit of a drain and a waste and a poor use of time. And so the 274 00:16:03,419 --> 00:16:06,299 question is, how do you how do you have meaningful 275 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:09,659 conversations? You ever, like, talk to someone and say, Wow, I 276 00:16:09,659 --> 00:16:12,359 could have talked to them for a lot longer. Like that 277 00:16:12,359 --> 00:16:16,619 conversation was, like, just touched me in some way. And 278 00:16:16,619 --> 00:16:21,919 those conversations happen when two things occur in terms of 279 00:16:22,339 --> 00:16:25,459 being social and networking. One is when you're super curious, 280 00:16:25,459 --> 00:16:28,279 you're interested, you take a genuine interest in what's 281 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:31,099 happening in the other person's world. And number two, when 282 00:16:31,099 --> 00:16:34,159 you're open, you're vulnerable, you share. And I can't tell you 283 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,579 how many conversations are so surface level, because there's 284 00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:40,959 no interest, there's no desire to learn, there's no pure 285 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:44,919 curiosity, and there's no real sharing or openness. There's a 286 00:16:44,919 --> 00:16:49,479 closed offness. So it's not about volume of contact, it's 287 00:16:49,479 --> 00:16:53,259 about quality of contact. And so the next time you go into a 288 00:16:53,259 --> 00:16:56,979 conversation, ask yourself, How does this become meaningful for 289 00:16:56,979 --> 00:17:00,239 me? What is it that I'm eager to learn? What is it that I'm eager 290 00:17:00,239 --> 00:17:01,019 to share. 291 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,800 Robert Plank: I like that a lot. That's a different way of 292 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,820 looking at at it, because it's easy to think that, like all 293 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,220 these these extroverts, they're really smoking me, right? 294 00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:14,040 They're appearing on 100 podcasts a month. But what 295 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:17,640 you're saying is, who maybe don't make that the goal, make 296 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:22,400 the meaningful, like you said, the quality, not the quantity. 297 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:27,020 And so I'm getting a good idea of your style here, and I'm glad 298 00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:29,600 that you didn't put me on the spot, because I think one of our 299 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,060 interviews, you, like, asked me a bunch of questions, put me on 300 00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:35,900 the spot, and it was scary, but it was also, I felt like it 301 00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:38,900 helped so much. And even before we were talking, you were asking 302 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:41,500 me about my son and his name, when I saw like, the pen moving 303 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:44,200 so I thought, oh, no, is that going to be used against me? 304 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:48,820 We'll see what happens there. But, but I I can see the value 305 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:53,740 in in this format, and then maybe digging into the the 306 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:57,880 unpleasant areas, but maybe they need to be dug into. And also 307 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:01,980 how, when you're listening to a podcast like this, you get kind 308 00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:04,860 of that meaningful connection that that you're mentioning, and 309 00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:09,240 it's probably not as scary, right? Because I know that you 310 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,000 do like, a lot of like coaching and, like, one on one stuff with 311 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:16,320 your team. And if someone says, Well, I know I need to be like, 312 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,560 you know, improving myself. I need to be like, better, more 313 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:23,240 effective, and all this. It's scary to just jump right into a 314 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:26,060 one on one with you, but maybe if they listen to this podcast, 315 00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:32,240 they can covertly get the the assistance they need to then be 316 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:36,380 ready to contact you for the big the big one on one. What do you 317 00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:37,280 think? Well, 318 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,620 Kim Ades: I think that listening to the podcast will definitely 319 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:43,840 give them a taste. But truly, truly, when we when we do one on 320 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:47,740 one coaching, we go much deeper. It gets much more personal, much 321 00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:51,040 more intimate, much more intense. So you have to keep in 322 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:55,360 mind, like it's a 20 minute podcast. You know, truly, in 323 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:59,260 coaching, we're really exposing a lot, and the reason we do that 324 00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:04,200 is because my commitment is to help our clients really 325 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,800 experience dramatic transformation in a relatively 326 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:12,240 short period of time. And so you know that means we're going far, 327 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:16,380 we're going deep, and we're moving fast, and so we do the 328 00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:21,320 best we can in a 20 minute coaching or podcast episode, but 329 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,520 really the deep experience happens in the coaching process. 330 00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:29,360 But here we go, Robert, why don't you come on to my podcast 331 00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:31,940 and get coached live and in person? What do you think about 332 00:19:31,940 --> 00:19:32,300 that 333 00:19:33,260 --> 00:19:34,580 Robert Plank: I'm in you're 334 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,000 Kim Ades: amazing. So what I'm going to do is, we're going to 335 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,260 book it for April. We're going to schedule it. But what I want 336 00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:43,900 you to think about is, what is the challenge that I want to 337 00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:48,700 discuss on this podcast? You don't have to tell me now, but 338 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:51,820 you'll get ready for it as the time comes, you'll let me know. 339 00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:55,120 Robert Plank: Okay, I know what it'll be. I'll be I've chosen my 340 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:56,260 topic, my 341 00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:59,200 Kim Ades: question, oh, that was fast. That was fast. Maybe that 342 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,380 Robert Plank: means that. Yeah, it's important, right? If it's 343 00:20:01,380 --> 00:20:03,420 the first thing that instantly came to mind, 344 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,240 Kim Ades: well, it's either important or it's been nagging 345 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:11,640 at you for a while. Both, both, okay, great. I can't wait to 346 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,080 have you on my podcast. 347 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,780 Robert Plank: And how effective is that? Like, do you know what 348 00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:18,660 your conversion rate is that of showing up on a podcast and then 349 00:20:18,660 --> 00:20:22,220 getting them as a guest on your podcast, like during the 350 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,120 interview, still? 351 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,400 Kim Ades: Well, it's not happening in the middle of the 352 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,700 interview. It does happen after the interview sometimes, but you 353 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:31,940 know what's happened a lot, actually, more often than I've 354 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:35,660 expected, is that after the interview there's an 355 00:20:35,660 --> 00:20:39,980 introduction. The introduction could be to, Hey, Kim, I want 356 00:20:39,980 --> 00:20:44,020 you to speak at this event, and that leads to a lot of coaching 357 00:20:44,020 --> 00:20:47,560 clients. Or it could be, I have another person who should be on 358 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,620 the podcast, or I think you should be introduced to this 359 00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:53,440 person who really needs your coaching. So that's what's 360 00:20:53,440 --> 00:21:00,180 happening more often than a direct client that gets that 361 00:21:00,180 --> 00:21:02,700 that emerges as a result of the podcast. 362 00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:05,400 Robert Plank: I like how you put that like, there's like, almost 363 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:10,320 like, one of five offers, and based on how you feel the the 364 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,580 podcast went, or what, what is needed, then maybe one of the 365 00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:17,520 five presents itself, or maybe there's the default. And I've 366 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,360 had guests like that all the time who like, I think that was 367 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,120 what impressed me about you early on, was you, I think you 368 00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:26,960 were at the end, like, talked about, like, after the recording 369 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,780 was done, talked about, like, a one on one call. And then I've 370 00:21:29,780 --> 00:21:33,860 had a few guests where, after the after the interviews done, 371 00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:36,800 they say, Well, can you recommend me to such and such 372 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:40,540 other podcaster? And sometimes they'll even look up ahead of 373 00:21:40,540 --> 00:21:44,080 time, like, who they want me to introduce to, and so it's like 374 00:21:44,140 --> 00:21:48,520 just a little bit of preparation combined with like you listed 375 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,160 there one of those five or six offers That's 376 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,080 Kim Ades: brilliant. I never thought of that. I'm gonna do 377 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:58,240 that too. I mean, to be honest, I go on a podcast, and I don't 378 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,200 have like offers coming out of my pocket, right? It's all a 379 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,680 little bit organic. I need to be a little more strategic, a 380 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:08,040 little smarter, but it's all organic. It depends on how 381 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,960 things unfold, right? Today, we talked a lot about my podcast. I 382 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:17,520 don't often do that, so this is new for me. The offer is to you, 383 00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:20,720 Hey, Robert, you want to be on my podcast? I'd love to have you 384 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:25,520 on on as a guest. It would be my absolute pleasure and honor. But 385 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,280 also, for those of you who are listening, if there's a 386 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,160 challenge that you have that you want to share on the podcast, 387 00:22:31,460 --> 00:22:33,980 reach out to me as well. It would be great. 388 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,400 Robert Plank: Super cool. And so, so, yeah, look, you'll be 389 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,720 able to tune into Kim's podcast soon and and hear me on. And if 390 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,120 you're listening, you want to be a guest that works great as 391 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:47,620 well, and then to be a just to keep it simple, a listener of 392 00:22:47,620 --> 00:22:52,360 the podcast, where should they go and what I mean, aside from 393 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,520 what you talked about, what really stands out? Why should 394 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:59,140 people like go and not wait and and run to listen to your 395 00:22:59,140 --> 00:23:00,420 podcast right now, today, 396 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,880 Kim Ades: again, I think there are a lot of podcasts that 397 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,820 interview experts. I think there are very few podcasts that do on 398 00:23:05,820 --> 00:23:08,880 the spot coaching. And so what you're what you're hearing, is 399 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:13,560 real time coaching with people who have real challenges, 400 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:17,220 struggles they want help with in the moment. And so when you 401 00:23:17,220 --> 00:23:20,100 listen, you're going to hear the coaching side of it, but you're 402 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,880 also going to see the real human side of it, where someone's 403 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:26,660 coming to the table with an actual tangible challenge. And 404 00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:29,240 so that dynamic, I think, is super exciting, and it's 405 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,700 different in the podcast world. It's not that common, 406 00:23:32,420 --> 00:23:35,060 Robert Plank: and it's actual tangible challenge. Yeah, 407 00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:38,000 Kim Ades: and doesn't have to be tangible. It could be, you know, 408 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,540 my wife yells at me all the time. That doesn't seem so 409 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:44,860 tangible, but for me, it's, it's a challenge, right? Yeah, by the 410 00:23:44,860 --> 00:23:48,400 way, yeah, the podcast is called the frame of mind coaching 411 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,180 podcast, 412 00:23:50,140 --> 00:23:52,060 Robert Plank: and how can people get to it 413 00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:57,040 Kim Ades: again? It's on iTunes. Buzzsprout, Stitcher, all the 414 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,420 places, all the places where podcasts are. But if you want a 415 00:24:00,420 --> 00:24:05,040 shortcut, go to frame of mindcoaching.com and there's a 416 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,320 podcast link right there. Frame 417 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,060 Robert Plank: of mindcoaching.com click on the 418 00:24:09,060 --> 00:24:12,720 podcast link. You'll be glad that you did anything to say to 419 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:17,160 wrap up, wind down here. Kim, any final words of advice again, 420 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,440 Kim Ades: if anybody is interested in having a coaching 421 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,160 conversation, reach out to me, whether it's to be on the 422 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,980 podcast or to have a conversation with me privately, 423 00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:29,180 I'd be happy to set up some time to talk one on one. My email 424 00:24:29,180 --> 00:24:31,220 address is Kim at frame of mindcoaching.com 425 00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:34,640 Robert Plank: All right. Well, thank you very much, Kim. 426 00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:38,240 Kim Ades: Thank you. As always, it's fun to be on your show. 427 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:38,360 You.