1486: Live Without Regrets: Build Resilience and Lead with Authenticity with Leadership Coach Ali Cammelletti

Robert Plank 0:01 We're here. We're back with Ally camalletti of spark your mindset.com and she rings over 30 years of experience in the hospitality industry focusing on leadership and sales. And what does that mean? How does that benefit you? Well, here it is. Ally helps leaders build resiliency and improve performance by bringing awareness to opportunity behaviors and sparking mindsets. She does this through team building, customer service and sales education, as well as one on one leadership coaching. So if you're one of these business owners, entrepreneurs, you hesitate, you struggle. You say, How can I get things to be more consistent, deliberate, dialed in, etc. Then Ali camelee is exactly the person for you. This will be the most important podcast interview you listen to your entire life. So Miss Ali. Glad to meet with

Ali Cammelletti 0:55 you and be speaking with you. Thank you, Robert. I'm very

Robert Plank 0:59 welcome. And so what did I leave out of that bio? What currently just has you so passionate focus? What are you up to?

Ali Cammelletti 1:08 You know, that's a great question recently, and part of what I believe is important as an entrepreneur is to do a little reinventing in what you're doing in your work. And so most recently, I launched something called spark groups, and it's where I bring only a handful of business leaders together, and we meet a couple times a month, and I have a full outline of content that we cover. And there's homework and connection and sharing and growth.

Robert Plank 1:41 Very nice. It's important to do new things right that way you keep yourself entertained and other people sit up and take notice. But then also, you're not just hiding behind the computer. You're involving other people, and you're not just teaching the facts and figures. You say, hey, there's homework, and so what sorts of I guess problems are out there? Like, I know that you're big on the leadership and the entrepreneurship, but we all see things every single day, and we just like, oh, that, that social media page, I don't like how they're doing it, or that person, if only they'd focus on this area. Is there anything that drives you crazy, as far as just in general, what we're all missing these days with entrepreneurship, business ownership.

Ali Cammelletti 2:27 You know, I think it takes a really special person to be able to be an entrepreneur successfully. I have watched a good amount of people be in the entrepreneurial space that have struggled. And one of the things throughout I've been an entrepreneur for 20 years, two different businesses, and I had a team that I facilitated through our community here in Bend Oregon, called opportunity Knox. And I had like 12 different owners, business owners, different types of companies, and I watched some be successful and some not. And I think what the most important piece of that is to one have patience with yourself in the process, but it's also you have to be organized and motivated. It's not something that you can just breeze into and be successful. It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of mindfulness and how you want to put yourself out there and brand yourself set yourself apart from other people, because we are in a day and age where there's many people doing what you do, right and what is going to set you apart from all of those others that wants them to work with you. Think another thing I've learned over the years is like you have to market. You can't stop marketing. And with my first business, I owned an event planning business, and they say the life of an event planner is three years. And I went nine, and I was really burned out at the end, and I stopped marketing, and it showed like I was just tired of continuously putting myself out there, because it can get tiring. It can and that's why I think it's important to do things that make you excited, like my podcast, I'm not sponsored. It's something that I call it marketing dollars, but it's also something that I just love to do, because it allows me to learn and continue to learn, and in our business, we need to continue to push ourselves to learn. For me, it's podcasting. For others, it's reading books. Some people, they want to listen to podcasts, right? It's content. I might have gone a little bit around your question, but, yeah, does that answer?

Robert Plank 4:53 It does. And that's like, my my brain's like creating little boxes and circles and lines. Connecting them as you talk, because it is quite a swirl, right? Basically, what are business owners missing? Quite a lot of stuff, right? And it seems like there's that tendency to go for only what's fun, or only what's the path of least resistance, and then talking to you and saying all these things like, well, you need to be kind of disciplined motivated. Need to be focusing on your branding and kind of always do marketing. They're all these things that maybe, I'm sure there's people out there saying, like, well, I don't want to do marketing at all. And it's like, okay, well, like, then you'll be one of those three years or less people. And it just seems like there's all these things that that we need to do, and we need to, maybe sometimes, like, improve ourselves, to get there, right? Be someone that always podcasts or always comes out with the content, or there's some things that come naturally, you need to maybe double down and repeat those, and the things that we can't do at all, and then it's like, well, maybe we need to outsource that delegate or, like, have a team. So it's like, all these things need to be done. And it just seems like there's, there's so much negativity, self sabotage people as soon as they hear this thing that I Oh, I should be podcasting excuses about not doing it. It's like, Well, do you want to be a business owner or not? And so you say that not everyone's cut out to be. But how correct? Like, did Did you always know? Or like, how did you know that this is what you should be doing.

Ali Cammelletti 6:22 I have this crazy drive. I don't know where it comes from. I just, I love to learn is one of the things and so like the podcasting, when I took it on during the pandemic, I learned like nine additional platforms, because now I'm marketing my podcast, right? I'm recording my podcast. I'm like all of these different pieces, and I loved it, and I did all of my editing at first, and then once the world came back to reality a little bit, I guess you could say, and my industry came back and needed my support because they were so busy. I work a lot in vacation rentals during the pandemic, they didn't want to talk to me, so I had the time in the bandwidth, but then I outsourced it because it made the most sense. It wasn't my best time spent, but I love to learn. I just do and I continue to push myself, and I'm mindful of like, if I'm getting burned out, or if I'm not excited about things, I make a change, and I do things that help me get inspired, find that passion. It's just how I'm wired. I mean, when I started younger years, my grandfather was like, You should do hospitality. It looks fun. And I was like, All right, that sounds cool. And I went and I got a degree in hospitality, and then I worked all the different pieces in hospitality until I ended up coordinating my wedding. And I'm like, This is what I want to do. I want to do wedding coordinating. And I'm just, I'm very time focused. I love timelines. I love planning. And so it just played to my skill. And I think when people might be like, I don't know what I want to do, I'd say, go play and take the strengths finder quiz. Have you ever taken that? Robert, I haven't

Robert Plank 8:17 taken it. I think I met a guy who works at that company, but I haven't taken it. I hear so many good things.

Ali Cammelletti 8:22 Yeah, it's a great way to look at what are your strengths do your strengths? Not everybody's strength is to be an entrepreneur, right? They might think it's fun and glamorous, but it takes a lot more than just fun and glamor. As you said, it takes resilience and just being able to go with the flow, with it.

Robert Plank 8:48 Okay, go with the flow. But also, what I really liked hearing from you is the discipline and you being organized. Because whenever I come across someone like that, I'm like, Ooh, I I know I'm I could always use some improvement in that area. I'm like, How do I tap into some of that energy? Because I was just on your show, and we got to talk a little bit about childhood, and like, how sixth grade was so great. In fifth grade, there was this girl, Katie Rossi, who, like, I went to her house once, and she had, like, a whiteboard and all these different color index cards. And it's like, her Her room was, like, cleaner than a hotel. You talk about being in hospitality. I was like, whoa. She vacuums under the bed. You could tell. So it's like, okay, how like so. But some of our, some of us, it doesn't come super naturally. We have to work towards it. So if you come across someone like that, who says, Oh my gosh, how do I get this kind of ally? Camel Leddy discipline, organization, like, what's your secret? How do we do it? Even if we're not really, we have other entrepreneurial qualities built in, but not as much of the being organized as we would like.

Ali Cammelletti 9:55 I don't know if I was always this organized, but I'm one. Who learns from my mistakes, and so I time block. And you had mentioned when we were talking on the podcast, the crazy person that has different colors, and every time, every moment is accounted for. Oh yeah, that is a bit of me. Now I will say I try to give myself grace and block out times like the weekends, I really focus on not opening up my computer the best I can. Sometimes it changes, right? I try not to work after my daughter goes to bed at like seven, right? Sometimes I have to open up my computer, but I really strive to have that downtime of me doing whatever, so that when I am in my day, I am efficient and productive, but I color code for balance and everything has a color right? True FaceTime is blue. I have my daughter's calendar, which is a light blue because she wanted light blue. And then my prep time is all green. My workout time is orange, and my personal time, like I have to go to the DMV today, it's purple, right? Or I have to go grocery shopping, I schedule everything down to I need to mow the lawn, or I'm winterizing right now because it's about to snow,

Robert Plank 11:23 okay, and so that's a good reminder, because I know, like, my calendar, like, fills up a lot, and it's all like, one color. And I had my mentor a couple of months ago. She was like, No, you need to have different colors because, like, it gets more exciting and you get more of, like, a instant view of, like, is it too much of one color and not enough of the other. But that's just like such a man thing, right? If it's just to be all one color and you forget to add all the color in there. Like my mom was talking to like some friend the other day, and he he like painted his house, but different parts of it are different shades of blue, like the front door is just kind of blue, and it looks ugly because it's all like it none of it matches. But typical man, he's like, No, but it's all blue. It all looks the same to me. And he's like, no, no. Like, women see more colors than men, and maybe we can tap into some of that. And I think if you, if I'm remembering correctly, I think you kind of talk sometimes about some of that, right, like, the like, the masculine and the feminine of like just operating and doing your business, is that right?

Ali Cammelletti 12:26 Well, I did a podcast on femininity, and why I did that podcast was because I was exploring the whole idea of femininity. And growing up as a young female in hospitality, I ended up leaning into more my masculinity at a young age because it's what I thought I had to be at that time, right? Tell people what to do. You got time to lean you got time to clean. Let's get this done. It's very masculine, whereas over time, I've been able to lean into more my femininity, and I believe it is what helps me in my coaching and have empathy and have that softness. And I feel that that is really it's an amazing thing if we can do it as women in the work environment, but as women, depending on our age, we've been programmed in a really different way

Robert Plank 13:21 and and, so we should play to those strengths, right? You mentioned the strength finder and, yes, like, this whole like, you know, masculinity, femininity, when it comes up, I feel like I'm simultaneously like, I don't really know exactly what it means, but I feel like I do when I should, and at this point, I'm too afraid to ask. So let's say, like, I like, fell off of an alien spaceship, and I'm like, Okay, this masculine feminine, it's thrown around a lot, but like, how would you explain it? What? What does it mean to, like, a someone who just literally came off the spaceship?

Ali Cammelletti 13:56 Yeah, so men can have a good feminine side as well, right? Gender doesn't matter. It has nothing really to do with gender. It's just understanding the different pieces of what's considered masculine and what's considered feminine, right? So masculinity can be a little hard. It's telling it's demanding. It's like, really focused on executing, right? Whereas femininity is that softness. I'm going to bring you into the office. I'm going to be like, how was your weekend? Feel like you're a little bit off. Is everything okay? That softness, that empathy, that curiosity. Does that make sense? Yeah,

Robert Plank 14:45 and so to help us reconcile it, I'm thinking like, so you definitely don't want to strive for like, an equal balance of this and what you do right, you still want to play to your strength. But would you say that maybe, like, what's the problem to be solved? Do you think maybe people are. Are, like, too much of one, or not enough, or are inconsistent, like, how do we apply this?

Ali Cammelletti 15:07 I have learned everything in balance. Let's go back to the calendar. Everything in balance. If we can balance that, I'm going to execute in my masculine and get things going we're moving fast, and I know when I need to do that, but I also know when to step back with an employee and be soft. If I can have that balance, I believe that's what makes great leadership. Okay?

Robert Plank 15:37 So like, basically Thinking Fast and Slow, right? Sometimes it's like, go, go, go, get it done. And other times to kind of step back and say, like, well, what's the bigger picture? Or who do I need to talk to, or where it's my maybe a more longer term problem to solve. And it's like, if you have too much of one and not enough of the other, then either you're not taking action, or you're just barreling down, doing the wrong thing. And to help us really, like, understand what this all adds up to. You say that you do the hospitality, you do the vacation rental. So, like, what does that mean? As far as the solution you provide? If someone says, All right, I need to hire Ali cameleti, what's the service

Ali Cammelletti 16:18 I do? Go on site and do team building and focus on employees culture and core values. I use a couple of different tools in my one on one coaching and the work I do, I use Positive Intelligence, which is this concept of, are we living in our saboteurs or our sage? Right? Our saboteurs can be anger and our sage can be lighter being empathy. And then I use something called tigers, trust, interdependence, genuineness, empathy, risk and success. And so it depends on what the person needs. Per se, I have clients that they're like, I just want you to mentor this person, and I run them through this process, and it depends on what comes out of it. Maybe they learn how to calm their saboteurs. Maybe they're really anxious and they are having a hard time fitting into the culture because of their anxiety, and I'm able to help them see that and make those shifts others. I'm able to build confidence. They're just not feeling like they're confident as a leader. Because I don't know about you, but when I went into leadership, they weren't like, here's a coach to help you be a good leader. They were like, you have a degree, you seem like you're smart. We're gonna put you on the floor, manage a staff of 50, Think or Swim. Yeah, yeah. So it's having that real mindfulness of how we do things differently now,

Robert Plank 17:53 yeah, yeah. And, and it's like a couple of years ago, I had a podcast guest who was telling me about how much she loved learning too. And she was saying sometimes she'll go and take a course for something that she already knows, or go and watch some YouTubes about it as a beginner, or go and check out the Wikipedia page for that. And I was just so blown away at just like we kind of, and we all do this, right? We get in the situation where we get, like, way ahead of reality, and then there's gaps in our knowledge, and we're like, Well, do I really know what I should know about the leadership or the Positive Intelligence or the emotional intelligence, or any of these things, like, I need to kind of go back to kindergarten in some ways. And what I really find kind of just fun but also weird about the whole internet marketing and podcasting is like, there's, there's so much like, I don't know, like, like, waste, so to speak. And there's got to be a better way than to say waste. But like, you know, from a masculine point of view, it's like, I want my clients, right? I've got this dollar per hour. Everything I do should be just like, getting some clients. I need to follow with my prospects. But then it seems like it's a lot more fun to create this cloud around you, right? You make the content, you do, the social posts, you do the podcasting, and then this idea of you attract the clients to you, but it's just, it just feels so much like when they say like a plane. 95% of the time, it's like flying in some other direction. So do you ever have that, that doubt, or just that weird feeling of like, okay, I'm I'm here with Robert plank recording a podcast, and it's important, but it's not like the direct, straight line for me to get clients. Like, how do you just reconcile all of the kind of, like, extracurricular stuff you have to do as a business owner.

Ali Cammelletti 19:46 I don't look at it that way. I don't believe I ever looked at it that way. I believe

Ali Cammelletti 19:53 when I am able to be my true, authentic self and let things flow right, flows kind. Them up a couple times. I do believe in manifesting. I chart it out. I look at my year plan, what I want, I do execute to get there. But sometimes there's things are out of our control, and I let it go, because I don't believe that you can put $1 amount on every single interaction. And I don't want to think that way, because I'm in relationship building. That's what I care about. Wonderful.

Robert Plank 20:32 So there's the value in building that relationship, and you've manifested, and in these last few minutes, I want to make sure that we cover that, because it seemed like when like that, that first became mainstream, it was so silly. It was so goofy, right? There's like, the secret, and there's like, make your vision board and the things that you want magically come true. And I didn't believe in any of it, but then maybe now that I'm in, like, some older, wiser years, I'm just like thinking, Well, okay, there's, there's something to the mix, right? Of like, not everything in the world explains, sure, but also things aren't just handed to you, and there's something to knowing what you want, having your written down, rewrite it, repeat it, look at it, hear it, kind of live in it, and and that. And you know, if you don't know where you're going, then you'll you're guaranteed to end up there. And so tell me about the manifesting and how to overcome the silly, superstitious not believing in it, and and how we make manifesting work for us.

Ali Cammelletti 21:36 You, I believe you have to believe in order for it to work. Like, if you're like, if you're like, Oh, I'm just going to do this because somebody told me it worked, I'm going to write some things down. And no, you got to feel it in your heart. I have manifested so much in my life. I mean, I've manifested the life that I live. And so I believe in it. Does it mean? Like, Oh, I want to manifest an orange to show up on my door today. No, but I set goals, right? I outline like I said, What kind of clients I want for the year, and I put dollar amounts because, again, being organized, I have a budgeting spreadsheet for my personal finances and my business finances, and that's where I do it. And I look at it often, and it's that looking at it. And then I when I know, okay, I put down that I want to make this because I need a new roof, whatever it is, right? Then I know that I need to launch something or go out and market or speak at a conference to get that marketing in. But I think you really have to believe in it. You can't fake manifesting. I think it's anything right, yeah, like faking being authentic. People can see right through it. So listen to some podcasts, listen to how it's done, do some research and then buy into it if you're going to do it, otherwise, don't waste your time.

Robert Plank 23:11 I like it. Get educated. Figure out this skill like anything else, and get the belief figured out and get it written down. I'm like, yeah, like, it's so silly to write stuff down, but when I don't, then I really get off track. And they say that only 3% of the population writes down their goals and acts on it. And I believe that fully, that so many people just let life pass them by and like, hey, if that works for you, great. But if it doesn't, then listen to the podcast like you're saying, and figure out a better way. And I really like what you said there about when you figure out this manifesting and these goals, you write down the dollar values, and you're making me think that, like, even in like, recent history, when, when I'm like, well, I need $5,000 this week, $10,000 this month. When I go back and think about it, I'm like, you know, I got, like, exactly what I asked for. And maybe the problem is, like, not shooting for enough, which, like, that's a really common problem, but you've seen some things, you've done some things, and I want to make sure that in these final moments of our program that we focus on what's important to you. Miss Ellie camilleti, so what's the missing conversation in this discussion we're have? Or what's the missing question in this conversation? Got ahead of myself there, right? So in this conversation we're having, what's missing? What should I be asking you? I just don't know to ask you,

Ali Cammelletti 24:33 I think it would be, what's the theme of how I operate and my theme is living without any regrets.

Robert Plank 24:45 And can you unpack that slightly like, what? What regrets might you have had if you didn't do this?

Ali Cammelletti 24:53 Well, let's just talk about regrets as a bigger picture of i. Know what I want to experience in my life, and I am going to do what it takes to experience that like I have an eight year old daughter right now, who I adopted as a newborn. And why I started this business was because I wanted to be able to volunteer and spend time with her, and I want to go on trips like we went to Machu Picchu last December together in Peru, because I have family in Peru, and I am living the life that I want to live now. I'm not waiting until I retire. I'm not waiting for something else. I'm doing it now, and I just, I don't know this last week, I had as past student who committed suicide and another like client that was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and in hospice. Life is short, and it's up to us to execute in a way that honors us and live the life that we want to

Robert Plank 26:01 very beautiful, very inspiring and that appeals to me greatly. I think maybe, like, 20 plus years ago, read the four hour work week, and they talked about the deferred lifestyle that you have to just like work this job you hate and impress people you don't like, and get to age 65 and then you're like, well, now I'm too old and creaky to travel that, and even that's not guaranteed. So if the personality suits you and fits you, then pursue this business ownership, entrepreneurship, and even in the crazy, wild, remote working world we live in, it's already not guaranteed, right? You already have to kind of job hop. So if you're just holding yourself back with this potential. Then think about some of these things that Miss Ali cameleti has been saying and, and I can relate to, like, that's like, the biggest cliche in the world of like, once you have a kid, you kind of want to be a good example and set and like, say, like, well, it's easy for me to have low self esteem, but I want to set this kid up for success. Like, I laughed at that for so many years. And then, like, you had a kid and like, suddenly, like, everything changed, you find your motivation and your purpose. So if someone says, I'm really already inspired and ally, camel lady has given me so much to think about, as far as the discipline, the organization, the mindset, the networking, the planning for the future, so much good stuff. How can someone get more of the alley camel Leddy fruit juice? How do we find out more about you and what you do?

Ali Cammelletti 27:29 So the podcast that I have is called snack leadership, bite sized pieces of content. If you want to understand more about me and what I'm about, listen to those and then spark your mindset.com. Feel free to go on my website and look at the different programs I

Robert Plank 27:47 offer. Very nice, and those programs help with this Tigers concept that we've been discussing, and team building and leadership. Positive Intelligence. She's a wonderful keynote speaker. She has all these happy clients. Ally camalletti helps leaders build resilience and improve performance by bringing awareness to opportunity behaviors through leadership and sales coaching as well as team building and guest speaking. So spark your mindset.com. To find out more about her, and then snack leadership.com if you want to jump into that podcast. Snack leadership is a podcast offering bite sized pieces of leadership skills or techniques with the goal of inspiring and being a resource for leaders during their leadership journey. So if that's you, if you say that the leadership education and the self help, it's like showering. We have to do it daily. Otherwise we'll start stinking. Then you need to find this new source of advice and ideas and inspiration that spark your mindset.com. That's snack leadership.com. It's Ali came before I let you go, Miss Allie, it's time for the scary part of the podcast where I try to stump you. I try to put you on the spot by asking about, I know, scary stuff, I ask about a fun quote or lesson that has served you. So what comes to mind, as far as a fun quote or lesson?

Ali Cammelletti 29:16 I think I'm gonna go back to the quote of live without any regrets, all right? And that's the lesson too. Ooh, two and one is the lesson. Because I've, well, I've learned over time that, you know, people leave this earth and we didn't say what we wanted to say, or we didn't have the experience we wanted to have with them, right?

Robert Plank 29:40 So nothing is guaranteed. Do it now. Act today and especially go to spark your mindset.com. We've been speaking with Miss Ali cameletti. Thanks so much for showing up. Miss ally, being raw and authentic and honest and telling us what we need to know. I really appreciate it.

Ali Cammelletti 29:57 Thank you, Robert. You.