1572: Find Purpose in Retirement with Sharon Rolph

Robert Plank 0:05 Sharon Rolph is here, and I'm Robert Plank, and Sharon helps retirees who feel lost, irrelevant or stuck, rediscover their spark and matter again. She is age 78 and she's not about to slow down anytime soon, she transformed her own trauma into purpose. She's a coach, and she has an amazing book called Fresh Courage in Retirement, finding purpose, essence and fulfillment. She's a behavioral scientist and life coach, and she has uncovered some joyful benefits for baby boomers reaching an age where maybe your ancestors have, like, settled into just taking it easy and boredom. But hey, we're just getting started, right? We're in this age where we might live to age 100 and beyond and retiring. Shouldn't be about waiting to die. We should have fun and these stimulating, nourishing, purposeful and transformative activities. Always be curious and have fun and be fulfilled. So Sharon is here to tell us what it's all about. So glad to be speaking with you. Sharon.

Speaker 1 1:09 Well, thanks for having me. It's great to be here today.

Robert Plank 1:14 Happy to have you and so we mentioned you would introduce you a little bit. But what are you all about? What do you think makes you stand out.

Speaker 1 1:21 What makes me stand out is I've learned a new term that I don't know. I haven't actually heard anybody say it, but there's post traumatic growth. I'm the model of post traumatic growth. I was born in Anacortes, Washington, up here near Canada, and Mount Baker was off my back porch, and now I'm living where I'm the Olympics and cascades are on either side of me, and Mount Rainier is gorgeous country, but I was the middle of five, and a lot of people that are little children feel invisible. Why I felt invisible? Because I wanted to be, yeah, I wanted to be invisible because there was some trauma going on. And I'm getting more and more impressed, in a bad way about how many of us have gone through trauma in childhood, and mine started with having to, let's see, how should I say it, take care of my dad in the bathroom, masturbating him and preschool, preschool, and my older sister was the main victim and and she did have a baby mama, my dad, so the trauma, I said, if I if I get Good grades, be obedient. Don't rock the boat. Maybe I'd be safe. We all go through life wanting to be safe, and when you we learn that at such a young age, I think often, bad leaders, bad managers, still have some of that trauma. They're operating from, and they're bullying their employees because of how they think about people and well, you know, they do have priorities and pressure to to operate under, but to do it in a humane way that actually brings out our best is what we want. Well, it's something that I well. So I did a lot of reading self help books. Do your listeners listen to a watch read self help books? Much do you know Robert?

Robert Plank 3:58 Yes, yes, they do, of course.

Speaker 1 4:00 Okay, okay, so I started out with Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill.

Robert Plank 4:06 Oh yeah,

Speaker 1 4:07 one that I liked a lot, that was a phenomenal autobiography, I guess, was liberating greatness. Okay? I like to think that liberating greatness is a good thing. Well, the guy had been in grade school. They thought he was missing a little bit, I guess, and and kind of put him, you know, as a maybe a problem learner, but it just took him a lot longer to learn than most kids. He went on to become a patent attorney. He, he was one of the early ones that seemed like that started studying the brain and and how the brain can help us or hold us back, and that kind of thing. And so there was a lot of amazing things he talked about. He's He's passed on now, but his name was. Hal Williamson, I read his book twice. I enjoyed it so much, but I read, read Wayne Dyer some and John Jim Rohn and on and on. Brene Brown is one of my favorite ones now. And in fact, I I would often use pick from the books I was reading, and pick out a nugget of gold, of wisdom and put it on art blocks. So I'm holding up an art block that says your vocation is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meat. Oh, what an awesome place that is. When I'm here to meet something that you're hungry for, you know, that's kind of like bacon, chocolate chip cookies. And you love chocolate chip, right? The combination comes together, and it just feels wonderful. So that's a little bit. Might seem like pie in the sky, but I actually held up this one last night to a lady in Singapore. May you feed a hungry world through me. I feel that deeply whenever I say it, because it's a last line of a gospel song by Bill bather. And this lady, she felt that in her spirit too, she was doing a lot of good work, and it I had never actually had somebody get the feeling of of that like I do and like she did last night. But anyway, so what, what got me on the path just recently about post traumatic growth is I asked my subconscious to remind me of what I was, the the free spirit I was born with, because I would be before the trauma. Yeah, let's go back there and, like, relive, at least in today, going forward, the free spirit that I was given, what a profound difference that would make with people that are supposed to be leading people, managing people, and you do it from Love instead of from retaliation, maybe that you don't even realize is at work in your relationships. Another, another block that I made. Oh, it's, it's my, I haven't shared this much, but I'm starting to, because this, this one is my mission, to ignite the synergy between vision and relationships, and that speaks so much to managers and employees. Because Robert, if you're leading a team of Teen People, and you've got a vision of the future you'd like to see. And I've got one about helping people know who they are on the inside and how profoundly important that is. But you have a vision, and you tell somebody, okay, by the end of the year, we're going to have this and this and this and this, and it's going to look like this. And if you had the courage and trust in your employees and had such a dynamite relationship with them that you could trust them with your vision, you might then invite them to say, now, how could you add to this vision and make it more effective, more beautiful, more appealing talents that you don't have or maybe have a little bit may have grandiose of that same talent, you would be doing yourself a favor to hand it off to them. Trust them with your future plan, and they would could fill in the details and maybe elaborate on it in such a marvelous way that you stand in awe, and they stand in awe by the end of the year that look what we've accomplished. Kind of amazing, huh? So

Robert Plank 9:47 many things are possible,

Speaker 1 9:48 yeah. So that kind of comes from a some of that comes right after I retired three, four weeks later, I got this profile in the mail, and I. I said I was an influencer, who me because I had been that invisible person. By that time, I was starting to relate to the fact that maybe I still felt invisible one because I was having a hard time finding clients, and if they didn't know or desire what I wanted to teach them, then, you know, Next, move on, and I'm starting to now, you know, eight years later, becoming aware that people are wanting something different, and maybe they can help solve the problems of the world, along with me

Robert Plank 10:53 nice.

Speaker 1 10:57 So I have so I've been in the meantime, while I'm learning and and doing this post traumatic growth, I I claim that I'm planting seed, because Never underestimate the power of a planted seed. So seed has to have a harvest, and I'm on tippy toe expecting a marvelous harvest. You know, I when I go out on my walk every day i i Watch what's starting to bloom, you know, in the springtime, and when the fall of what's going to seed, or what's and I keep marveling at all this growth from the sunshine is me, you know, and to appreciate all the growth Now, granted, we have to trim some of these trees back and prune the apple orchard, you Know, and all that. But for the most part, what we eat, our vegetables and and fish and livestock, is all free. And how generous, what a generous world we live in. So let's go from there. Robert,

Robert Plank 12:20 yeah, and they call that abundance, don't they? This, this idea that you have everything you need. You just need the proper configuration and focus and strategy and support system to make it happen. And so you said a lot of the great things, I'm still taking it all in. And it's like, there's the the concept of the inner self that you know back before you let life knock you down a few times, then you were in a good place, and you can rediscover that instead of letting all these other maybe bullies in life who gave up on their dreams are kind of trying to bring you down to their level. And there's like the the generational curses, aren't they, with family and the workplace and friends and some people, if they if they were bullied, if they were yelled at, if they were in scarcity and fear, it's natural to then pass that on. But we have these tools, resources, books and and people and mentors and like, I love how you've written these things down the helped you to kind of anchor yourself and to to not just be in the this, that bad place where it's like it's so tempting and natural to be to we can instead uplift ourselves and others. And you have this amazing book. You're a possibilities. You teach amazing concepts, like an essence statement. So if someone says, Okay, you're speaking my language in so many ways, right? I want to be better in the workplace. I want to be better in retirement. What have you discovered as far as getting things back onto the upswing?

Speaker 1 13:52 Well, in fact, the first thing they taught us when I started coaching class, which was the week before I retired, I had seen coaching as as a natural progression of my career, actually, because, as a behavioral scientist, I call, I called myself a facilitator of other people's success, empowering them. So I, I am very much focused on empowering boomers and retirees with they've got all this free time that could become a burden to them, you know, I don't know a lot of TV is boring or questionable on the value of it. You know, unless you're watching the the Food Network or the HGTV, what I watch is because you're you're learning from other people's experience. But the first thing they taught us, we had to come to class with a whole bunch of questions filled out, and one of them was just making a list of 20 things you love to do. You. Like, Oh 20. Think that's easy to do, but what do you meant 20, yeah, but I like to help people start there, because it's just remembering yeah, oh yeah. I like the mow the lawn, because I love the smell of fresh mown grass, you know, or, or, let's see. Oh, I love color. It comes out in all the little art blocks that I make. And I've got another book here that I haven't quite gotten a hang up yet, but it's called fascinate. It's taking color to a whole new level. And I'm not sure I want to know that much, but, but I might when I have some free time. But, okay, so, so another question on that when I that first weekend in coaching class was, what are your values? Values? I don't think school talks to us much about values. Life doesn't either. Let's see I, I don't know what my value well, we do a value clarification, what a difference that makes. So we take, no, I have a list of fancy things, words of wisdom. I mean values in and I added wisdom on it because it wasn't on the list, but I then you narrow it down to just four or five. And integrity as a is a value of mine, responsibility, collaboration. And love is always on my list. But why this matters? Robert is oft times when you're watching the news or hear a story and something riles up in you, and somebody needs to do something about that that's probably linked to a value, and in if you don't live your life aligned with your values, it can cause you a lot of frustration. I have a couple nephews that have gone through some anger management classes, and I thought if I could just let you know that your frustration could be tied to a value you're not living. But who, who teaches us that anyway? Reflection, I think, is highly valuable. So see, so another one was, what if some guiding principles, and that's can be related to your values, but, you know, I can remember my mom telling me where there's a will, there's a way, that's kind of a value, you know, or, let's see, another one was, oh, like giving people, now that it's the benefit of the doubt, that's what I'm looking for, giving them others the benefit of the doubt, and something I've been saying quite a bit the last six years or so, is we're all doing the best we know how. You know, I've always struggled with my weight, and part of my weight challenge was, I figured it helped me in that psychological safety factor, because then I wouldn't have to put up with cat calls and and flirting or whatever. I've never been married, and I kind of haven't found that many good guys that were interesting enough, but, but when I started telling myself about my weight challenge that I'm doing the best I knew how. Wow. What a difference. I stopped judging myself, and it helped me stop judging other people. That makes the world a better place.

Robert Plank 19:18 You help yourself, and then you end up helping others, yeah. And I can see the value in figuring out these values. And a lot of what you mentioned, I'm all about that too, about the some of these like integrity and honesty and persistence. And it seems like when, like you said, we're not toughest in school, most people don't even ask themselves these hard questions. And it's like, once you know these values, you know what triggers you, and then if you don't have your own values, then other value, other people's values, will kind of force themselves onto you. And this way, you know, Well, should I take action A or action b, and should I be friends with person number one or person number two? Or do we conflict? Or are we. Compatible. And it's like, this is all important stuff, and but I'm sure, like, it might be a little bit overwhelming, right? Because this is really deep and it's really sudden. And so I can see how, you know, learning on a podcast or learning from a book is a good starting point, but you say that you do the the life coaching. So how does this relate to someone getting, like, direct, one on one. Human help from you. If someone says, Hey, I want to look into some of what Sharon has figured out. You provide life coaching services.

Speaker 1 20:31 Yes, in fact, I'm, I'm kind of in the process of setting up a, like a six week program on Facebook, where we do it live each week. I need some help setting that up. So that's I don't have a starting date for that, but let's start with my book. So my book here, okay, here's the color I I've got colorful cover, and I love to sew. I love words of wisdom, and I love color, and it comes together in my book, cover and explore the possibilities is one of those curiosity factors that makes such a difference about life. You know, I don't know if your school counselor might have steered you in a direction for your career by what interests you? Well, that's where Curiosity comes in. What's the possibilities i for years, took the got the magazine, guidepost magazine, and there are lots of stories in there about what's possible. And there were two or three stories about like people getting stopped by for a traffic stop, and they wound up marrying the policeman that stopped them. I still need to be married someday, so it's possible anything can happen, but let's see where was I going with that. Okay, so reading my book, I I did podcasts myself. I've made over 50 of them, and I tell a lot of the stories I gathered from my guests on my podcast, in my book, because I want to help you think outside the box when it comes to what's possible in retirement, that curiosity factor, if you lived your life daily being curious, then this one of those Stories is about a lady my, in fact, my favorite, I guess, is a lady that she was about 57 so she wasn't retired yet, but she, she lives here in Seattle area, and she had this feeling that she needed to expand her Heart. Has that happened to you? So she, she planned. To do community service projects around the world. It took her a couple years to plan that, but she she wound up feeding baby lions, riding elephants and in a Babylon sanctuary, that was a great story she told in there. But then she wound up in China, in a college class, teaching them English, English as a second language. And often they would use music as a way to have something in common and and practice their English. And so the students asked her to to sing imagined by the Beatles. And she she liked songs so much she she kind of choked up even singing it. And she says, okay, and she wasn't good at carrying a tune that much either, but they could relate to that song and said, Okay, I sang it now. It's your tune. Who's going to sing it? And finally, a young man in the back of the room stood up and sang the song, and they were all kind of next to tears, because it was such a moving experience for them. But so I want to help you think outside the box. That's somehow helping people think jazzes me up, and so it's not your normal retirement book, but it's what's possible and coming for you from your unique spirit and soul. What's what lights you up. So that, and my reading my book is a starter on that, and that's it is available on Amazon, and leaving a review there would be wonderful for generous of you to do that. And then I do have six items on the platform. Called the great discovery platform, where I do have a free item on six tips to help you not get off track and retire it one another one I love because I started writing on was as in the airplane coming back from Phoenix, and it's what makes your heart sing. You know, birds sing a lot, and what makes your heart sing? Have you ever thought about that? And I give you, like, 48 things of where you might start identifying with something that, oh, yeah, I could do that. Like one of them is a lot of people think that everything's expensive, not really. What about you, if you're a gardener? What if? But if you maintain the roundabout in your neighborhood, you know, the traffic round about things, you know it just trim the the garden, or plant the bulbs, you know, whatever. But it could be as extravagant too as touching the water in the seven oceans. That's extreme of what's possible. Robert,

Robert Plank 26:14 yes, well, you've met some amazing people, and you figured out many secrets to life, right? And including enjoying it and getting some satisfaction and achievement and just being a good person to yourself and others. And so this book that you mentioned, it's called Fresh courage in retirement, finding purpose, essence and fulfillment. We'll have a link below the podcast, and you can find it by searching on Amazon. Fresh courage and retirement. It's by Sharon Rolph. And as far as some next steps, Miss Sharon, if someone says, Okay, I'll check out your book. But as far as like website, social media, contacting you, where should someone go after listening to our podcast?

Speaker 2 26:54 Oh, great question, Robert. I'm active almost daily on Facebook and LinkedIn, and I always give you something to think about, and I'm getting a lot better about posting my little art blocks that I've made a fabric art, and I am getting more I have a couple people that love to help me get more traffic on my YouTube and Instagram, so I'm getting better about being focused there as well and the on my YouTube page. Here's one for you, what? What's missing besides the paycheck, I've I've got quite a few people that have checked that out and on Instagram. I'm queen of courage. So I just love inspiring and empowering people, because I want to help everybody be the best they can be. I I've come to realize that not everybody is interested in that, but you know, with the right input, you know, through our eyes and our ears and and what we read and see, if you're focused on the right topics and things that interest you, you there's no limit to how much you can grow and learn and contribute. And I've started saying that this the your what's inside of you, your personality and the things you love to do and your preferences that is a gold mine your that's your invisible assets, not what's the in your bank account, it's what's the inside of you, your spirit, that makes such a difference for both your joy and your impact on the world. And we need people helping us all heal the world.

Robert Plank 28:54 Yes, I agree, the intangibles and being a good person, and it seems like it's a matter of mental, diet and exercise, right? What you can see, like the food you put in or the exercise you do, but it's, it's, it's just as important with your mind, isn't it? If you take in the bad reality TV versus you learn something, you read something, can grow rich, you watch them HGTV, you connect with a person, and then the exercise that will Are you always you have some goals? Do you have these hobbies like this list of 20 things you want to do? Are you striving towards something or you just waiting to wither away and die? Well, that's a choice too. That doesn't sound like very much fun at all. And so you mentioned personality. Well, I love your personality. Miss Sharon, and you're you're so alive and bubbly, and you have more energy than some 30 year olds out there. And the YouTube channel makes me laugh. There's like a thumbnail where you have like a blanket over your head even. And so you say that you're on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube and Instagram, and if you want to find out more about she. Sharon and her, her insights, her achievements, what she has for you. Then we say, That's Sharon underscore. Queen of courage on Instagram. Queen of courage on Facebook. The website is effortless vitality.org. And this Sharon Rolph helps newly retired singles shine with authenticity. And if you felt invisible, lost or uncertain after age 60, this is your space at effortless vitality.org. You can find out about all these, the program, the workshop she has, the coaching, the public speaking, the books, the social media and so much more. And it's all there. And even if you want to text her or give her a quick phone call. That phone number is 425-877-6655, 425-877-6655, Sharon at effortless vitality.org, and check out some of these resources. If you're suffering, you don't have to suffer alone. You can learn things and and take new actions to get new results. You don't have to be stuck and miserable with the brutality of life that maybe beat you down temporarily. You can rise above it. And so speaking of sending us off and making us feel good and sending us off on those next steps, it's time for the scary part of the podcast, Miss Sharon, where I try to stump you. I try to put you on the spot by asking about a fun or interesting quote or lesson that has served you. So what comes to mind as far as a fun or interesting quote or lesson?

Speaker 1 31:31 Oh yeah, this is one of my favorite, and I actually saw it at on the wall at work many years ago. If one has a talent and cannot use it. One has failed. If one has a talent and only uses half of it, one has partially failed. If one has a talent and learn somehow to use the whole of it, they have gloriously succeeded and what a satisfaction few people ever know by Thomas wo

Robert Plank 32:07 very good, inspiring. Fulfill your potential, put those skills to use, and you can take these next steps by checking out her book, which we said, is called Fresh Courage in Retirement, Finding Purpose, Essence, and Fulfillment. And the website of Sharon Rolph, Queen of Courage, is effortless vitality. You go there, you can discover your essence and live with purpose. Reconnect with that purpose, step into your power, and live with clarity. So effortless vitality.org. And thanks so much. Miss Sharon Rolph for just opening our eyes, waking us up, telling us about what's possible for yourself and others, and with us, and I'm just deeply grateful, motivated, inspired, speaking with you. So thanks for being here.

Speaker 1 32:50 Thanks for having me. Let's do it again. Oh, and.