377: Ditch the Blueprint, Follow Your Intuition, Do What You Love, Test Things Out, Put Yourself First, Live with Love and Find Personal Fulfillment As An Entrepreneur with Heather Criswell

Robert Plank 0:00 Robert Plank Show episode 377 ditch the blueprints. Follow your intuition. Do what you love, test things out, put yourself first, live with love and find personal fulfillment as an entrepreneur with Heather Criswell, Hey everyone, and thanks for listening. Today, we're going to talk about following your intuition and ditching that blueprint. And the person to tell us all about that today is Heather Criswell. And Heather is the founder of wise inside. She's a speaker and author of the award winning how to raise a happy child and be happy too. And wise talk from the other side. And she's the host of wise talk radio, which is a podcast which shares a revolutionary approach to heart centered communication, and she's worked with over 30,000 children and their families, helping them to see their power, their own greatness, and communicate from love. At 21 she founded a unique preschool and later opened a holistic wellness center, and she's dedicated her life to helping people step into their greatness and shine bright. And you can find her website at wise inside.com so Heather, how are things?

Heather Criswell 1:05 Great. Thank you so much for having me. Robert. I so appreciate being here. Well,

Robert Plank 1:09 I appreciate you being here, and so I mean following your intuition, can you kind of tell us what this is all about?

Heather Criswell 1:15 Well being online. I've been in business for over 20 years, and I had brick and mortar with a preschool and a Wellness Center, and online business has been so different, and there's been this whole you've got to do this, you've got to do that. You've got to build a sales funnel and email people and bombard them and give free stuff and videos and all the shoulds that we should be doing, and what I've realized, and quite a few of my friends and colleagues have realized, is that that doesn't feel good to us. And so consequently, when you put stuff out that doesn't feel good to you, it's not going to feel good to your audience, and it's not going to get you anywhere. And we've been inundated with online courses of if you just follow this blueprint, then you're gonna lead to success, and you're going to have six figures in one month, and it all just feels so gross and slimy. And so ditching the blueprint is really reconnecting back to yourself. Of what am I wanting in this what feels good to me? And I can tell you right now that emailing somebody four or five times a week, once every day or twice every day doesn't feel good to me. It doesn't feel good for me to receive them. It doesn't feel good for me to give them. So there really is no quote, unquote, blueprint other than what your heart is guiding you towards, and that's really what I think a lot of people are striving for right now. A good friend of mine is actually writing a book right now called trying to make it and it highlights all of these shoulds that we should be doing. And she was listening to everybody else instead of her heart, and consequently, was just spinning her wheels. So it's a real it's a real eye opener to start listening to what you want, and you'll see that really serving ourselves first of what we want and what we want to put out there actually brings bigger rewards than we could ever imagine. Well,

Robert Plank 3:18 great. Well, I can't wait to unpack some of that stuff and a lot of what you mentioned. Made a lot of sense to me. Just as far as, like, you know, not living someone else's life, or, you know, not not modeling some of these really aggressive marketers and doing what feel feels good to me or you. So as far as where you're concerned, like, when you say you do what feels good to you, I mean in your business, what does that mean exactly, well

Heather Criswell 3:41 in my business in particular, I am a speaker and author, and I share a lot of content. And for me, sharing stories and content is where I light up, doing podcasts like yours, writing, those are the things that light me up, actually, marketing, if you will, doesn't light me up. And so there is a little bit of leaving it up to doing what you love and letting the magic of the world show up. And how that happens is somebody just recently that booked me for a major speaking gig. I said, you know, how did you find me expecting to hear, Oh, you know, on this platform or that platform, and she goes, Oh, I just, I stumbled across your website. And I was like, Oh, you stumbled across my website. Like, who stumbles across anybody's website? Because there's only a gazillion websites out there, right? And I finally figured out how she found me, and it was through another women's group that had featured me in an obscure article. And so we never really know how the magic is going to play out, and oftentimes we're doing our best to control that. And I think being in business earlier in life. Or there wasn't internet, I'm kind of dating myself now, where there wasn't internet, there wasn't social media, and, good grief, there weren't even cell phones. Quite frankly, we had pagers, so it was a different world altogether, and we had to somewhat rely on just this universal magic that shows up where somebody tells somebody, or it's they somehow stumble, quote, unquote, across you. And now we've gotten into this space where we're in control of it. If we just hustle, if we just hustle really hard, then we'll get all the clients we need, or then we'll get the business that we want. And the truth is is when you follow your heart in doing what you love, and I'm not saying just sit around and don't do anything. I'm saying really follow your heart of what feels good to you. So if you love marketing, then market. If you don't love marketing, then do your creations however they show up, and lo and behold, the right person will show up to help you market. And I the most recent example of that is I literally got an email last week from a girl that said, Yeah, you know, I want to do an internship on speaking and motivational speaking, and I really would like to intern under you. And can I work for you, basically, can I intern and work for you for free? And I couldn't. I couldn't find somebody to do that for the life of me, for the years, until I gave up and just said, I'm just going to do what I'm supposed to be doing, which is creating and sharing. And lo and behold, this girl shows up, and she's going to help me with speaking gigs. She's going to help me with social media, all the things that I don't like doing. She's going to help me with for free, and I say free lightly. I'm going to be mentoring her as well. But it's a really beautiful partnership that I didn't search out, that I didn't hustle to find it, literally just dropped in my email like that. So being open to the magic of how things show up for us in ways that we couldn't even imagine simply by doing the things that we love the most,

Robert Plank 7:14 super cool, and I like that way of thinking. And what I'm what I'm sort of hearing as you're explaining that is, I mean, it sounds, first of all that, like you put out a lot of things that way you can maximize your number of chances, right? Like it's not like you're just kind of sitting at home waiting for the phone during like you're appearing on podcasts like this one, you're answering those emails as or come in. So it's like you're kind of also prepared for those things that that come to you, and I can definitely relate to sort of, I don't know what you'd call like, like being in alignment, I guess so that way, like you said, if you're, if you're a marketer than market, if you're, you know, if you're a writer than Right? Or like, do that thing that you like to do that way. You're not just kind of trying to fake it till you make it. But one thing that that sort of comes to mind as you're explaining that is, I know quite a few people, and I'm sure that you do too, who kind of use this sort of do what you love when the money will follow kind of mentality as an excuse to stay inside their comfort zone or act timid or self sabotage. So is there a way to to do all the to do all these things and kind of maximize your chances so that someone can stumble upon you without falling into that trap of playing it safe.

Heather Criswell 8:24 Absolutely, that's a beautiful point and and the truth is, is that the things that I love are the things that challenge me the most in life, and those are speaking events. And, you know, I spoke at the Women's women's national conference in California, the California National Women's Conference, and that is completely out of my comfort zone. It was a tremendous experience and opportunity, and there was every part of me that was like, Oh my gosh, I don't even know if I could do this. And so it's not about not being in fear or stepping out of your comfort zone, because that was completely out of my comfort zone. And yet it's really about following your intention. And I think the problem that people run across when you say something like, like what you when you mentioned, do what you love, and the money will follow. I've kind of switched out of that realm and do what I love and set my intention that I am going to serve myself in how I love and that's going to be a ripple effect in the world, and that will come back to me in many ways, and it may not be money. You know that this intern is is not giving me money, and yet she's giving me a service that would cost me a tremendous amount of money. I'm not actually physically taking in money for her to pay her. It's it's showing up in a way that supports me in where in the space that I'm in right now, and being open and aware to that. So it's really setting the intention of this is what I want to do on this planet. And I know, and I trust that the right people, the. Right timing, the right money is going to show up to support me in that. And to your point, keep moving forward with that which you love doing. And for me, it is the podcast. For me, it's speaking, and those things support me in a way that I couldn't even imagine. You know, I spoke for four colleges in Northern California, and I made more money in that day than most of the professors make, probably in a week month, I don't know. And the full circle moment for me was I had gone through this whole space and time where I thought that I needed a degree, and I had returned back to college two times to get this degree, until finally a professor said, do not come back here. Leave. You know, you've got your experience, and that is supersedes this any degree, really. And so I had this full circle moment where I came back and I was making a tremendous amount of money for the work that I was doing that I loved, and again, it was one of those that they stumbled across me. So yes, to your point, we always keep moving forward, but we never really know how it's going to show up, and being open to how it shows up. And maybe it's not a check or cash, but maybe it's an intern, maybe it's a friend that says, Let me help you this way. Maybe it's a new mentor that supports you in a growth in another way. So it's always coming back to what am I doing that feels good to me, and allowing everything else to come and kind of fit in that puzzle piece, if it makes sense.

Robert Plank 11:40 Yeah, it does so. So basically, have have that big purpose so that that kind of drives you to get you to, you to where it needed to go, especially with us. You know, entrepreneurs, where things can fall apart really easily, or the ground can shift out from under us on the internet, or sometimes we have to kind of try things a bunch of times before we give up. And so many others have given it before us, and they failed. And if we just kind of push forward, we can make it. And so how do you know if you're if you're just kind of going down the wrong track, just for the sake of it? Like, how do you know if you're kind of, if, like, your business, if a business hasn't taken off, if it's been a few years, have you been kind of at it and, like, there haven't been any real results, as opposed to sort of pivoting or switching gears, like, how do you make that decision whether to kind of stay the course or try something else?

Heather Criswell 12:29 Well, for me in particular, I take a moment to myself every day and I say, what's working for me, what feels good for me, and moving forward in that direction. Now to your point, if I'm doing something and beating a dead horse and I'm getting nowhere with it, I'll give you an example, like the emails I took a course that said, you know, you need to have these specific emails with this template and these words. And every time I sent out that email, I pushed send out to all my people. I felt horrible, horrible because I was like, Oh my gosh, this isn't me. This isn't who I am. This is annoying. I would be annoyed. And so consequently, nothing came from that. So my point is, if I'm feeling frustrated, if I'm angry, or if I'm annoyed, those kind of things are the triggers, red flags for me to say I'm on the wrong path here, and I do my best not to gear it money wise, because money, again, comes in different ways, shapes and form. So when we when we attach our value and worth to money, it muddies the waters, if you will. It makes it all just sticky. And I understand that some people need X amount of money to survive every month. And if it feels better to you to work another job and do your other do your entrepreneurial gig on the side, to support you in that, then I would encourage that. For me, I just keep moving forward with what feels good to me and when I feel frustrated, when I feel angry. And, you know, I just had a person that was doing a promotion, and she asked me if I would be willing to promote her stuff if she proposed promoted mine. And there was this gut wrenching feeling inside, and I actually like her a lot as a human being, but there was a gut wrenching feeling that was like, Oh, I don't want to have to promote somebody in order for them to promote me. That doesn't feel good. I don't like it, it feels slimy, it feels manipulative. I don't like it. And this is all me. So if somebody else is doing this, then great, and they feel good about it. And I'm just saying from my perspective, it did not feel good, even though I liked the woman, and I had to stand in my power and say to her, you know, this doesn't work for me. I don't like doing it. I love you, and I'm happy to promote you as I go with something content that is relevant or works for my audience. But I want to be clear that this does not work for me, and so instead of doing it. Feeling slimy, being angry with her kind of bitter, kind of resentful, being embarrassed, because I'm like, oh, you know, this isn't necessarily for my audience, but I can somehow manipulate it to make it work. All of that just feels gross and so really keeping in touch with the feeling inside. If this doesn't feel good, stop. Don't do it and evaluate Is this what is in my highest interest, not theirs, mine. Because when I put myself first, I create magic for the world. When I put somebody else first and their needs, I feel bitter, I feel angry, I feel resentful, and it all just crumbles to the ground, perfect.

Robert Plank 15:41 I can relate to a lot of that, especially like, like you said, if there's someone else who has a product, or they're kind of aggressively trying to join a venture with you, and they say, Here, promote this, or here, send these copy and paste emails. I think a lot of us have been in that situation where we are almost cornered and almost like, asked to promote, like a shady product or a shady sales letter, or just something where things were just not quite right, or over the top, or a flat out lie, and then the the response was, Oh, hey, we'll just promote this. You need to make some money. And I used to think that, like, maybe I wasn't a very good marketer, or maybe I wasn't a very good networker, because I would turn some of those opportunities down as well, if it was just too much, too over the top, too ridiculous, not believable, and like, just didn't sort of fit in with what it was that I wanted and what kind of you know, things I wanted to send to my list. So I definitely relate to a lot of that and so, so, like you said a few minutes ago, that you know, what really helps is you ask yourself, like, those same questions every day about like, what's working for me, what feels good to me? Do you have any tips and tricks to for like, that daily encouragement or kind of ways to get your groove back for those times when maybe you feel burned out, or kind of feel like low energy or have the doubt, any any ways that you have on hand to sort of pick yourself back up and keep on going. Well,

Heather Criswell 17:03 I definitely have a lot of tips and tricks underneath my sleeve to do it, because it happens. It it happens, actually it. My experience as being online has been way more of a struggle than being in a brick and mortar building. It's, it's, it's so much more than what I remember it being and and I think that there's just so much available to us, and we push really hard, and that's what we're taught, right? Everybody says, Just keep going, just hustle, just grind it out. Rise and grind. And that is not my MO and it was at times, but it never worked for me. Mine is Rise and shine. And how I I do that is I literally close my eyes before I get out of bed. And I've got a brand new puppy, I've got a six year old. So life is hectic, but before I get out of bed, I literally say to myself, what's one thing that I want to do today? Not the eat the frog, the worst thing you can think of that you have to check off your to do list. But what's one thing that I can do today that will move me forward in the direction that I want to be in, which is speaking or writing? What's one thing that I can do today that I can feel really good about and know that I have done my work, even if it's just one thing that I've done my work to move forward on this planet and what I love doing. And so that could look like a Facebook Live, that could look like a podcast, that could look like a blog post, that could look like connecting with people, whatever that is for me own that do that, and then everything else that I do is just icing on the cake, and consequently, I end up doing a lot more as well. But when we sit and we say, you know, you've got to rise and grind you've got to hustle this out, it becomes tedious and time consuming. And we start looking at Facebook, and we start talking to a friend, and we start hemming and hawing and doing everything we possibly can to avoid it. And when I get in that space, I actually close my laptop and I go for a walk, or I go outside and take some breath. Because when I get outside, I get inspiration. I inspire Right? Like I bring breath into my body and get away from the computer. And some days, quite frankly, I wake up and I'm like, I'm gonna do this one thing, and I'm done for the day. I am done for the day, and I will go and play and have a good time. And lo and behold, every single time I make that conscious choice, something weird and unbelievable shows up in my email, and I'm like, This is so cool, because we're not meant to be here to grind it out. We're not meant to hustle it to where we kill ourselves, you know, or we beat ourselves up so ridiculously that we are of no use to end. Anybody. We're here to shine, and whatever you need to do to shine. And people will say, well, that's, you know, a Pollyanna approach. Well, here's the here's the question, If you're happy and doing your work and succeeding and feeling good about it and getting momentum and getting the results that you're looking for, keep doing that, if you're not, then test some other things out. It could be my things, it could be somebody else's things, but test them out to rock the boat, to shift things around, to gain momentum in another way. And oftentimes for me, it's just taking a break and really stepping away having a good day. For me, it's with my son. You know, we'll go swimming or go for a bike ride or whatever that is, reconnect to life and then come back infused with love and life instead of frustration, anger, disappointment, unknowing, I don't know what to do. I you know, we start spiraling and spinning. And when that happens, it all again, crumbles and makes a big, giant mess. And we often say, Well, we don't have time to go for a bike ride. But is that true? Because would you be using that two hours to just beat yourself up or to get some breath to start fresh and to do it again.

Robert Plank 21:22 Super cool. And as you as you're explaining that that last part there about kind of like the, you know, bang your head against the wall, versus taking a break. Like there have been so many times when I've been trying to code some kind of plug in, or I've been trying to figure out how to write this blog post in this right way, or just trying to solve this marketing problem or anything. And just there have been times when I've realized, oh yeah, I've been sitting at the computer for two hours, not not getting anything done, having the illusion of getting things done, checking Facebook, checking all that, but actually just kind of just having activity, but not any real result. And then there have been so many times when I just got out of the house, took a walk, or took the weekend off to think about something or slept on it the next day in five minutes, I realized a solution when otherwise it could have taken, you know, eight hours or more. So I can definitely relate to a lot of that and what, and you know what, calming and slowing down and being in the present moment and all that fun stuff and sort of like, you know, one thing that really stuck out for me, as you were explaining your mindset there is that you say, you ask, Well, what? What's one thing I want to do today, whether it's like Facebook, live or podcast or whatever, but what I heard is that you do at least one thing a day, so at least that way, you have that sort of consistency. And I definitely see a lot of those, those same people who who they say they're hustling, or they say they're working all these hours, and I'm kind of looking at that thinking, Well, why, why is that such a thing to brag about, that you haven't slept in two days? Is that like a badge of honor? And are you really fooling yourself into thinking that you're getting all that stuff done, and really, you're just kind of just spending the time sitting in front of the computer, and that doesn't sound like very much fun at all. And a lot of these people who say, like, oh, well, I'm really hustling. Well, they might spend two or three days non stop doing all this stuff, and then they'll be so called, burnt out for a week or two after and they'll, they'll, like, lose all that ground that they've gained, and it's not a very fun process for them. And so I really like your attitude there of just doing one thing that day, one thing every day, and you might just do that one thing and be done for the day, or say, you know, I'm rocking and rolling. I got my momentum. I'm on a roll. I might as well go the extra mile and do this extra stuff, because I love it so much, and I get the results out of it, and it's getting where I need to go. So it's really, I think that's a much more like healthier and sustainable mindset that kind of gets you all of what you want, as opposed to this illusion of productivity, which is, let me work 20 hours a day, absolutely.

Heather Criswell 23:49 And when you start something that you love, it's not eating the frog the thing that you hate the most, that's the that's what a lot of people say, do the thing you hate the most so you can check it off your list, and then do everything else. And that's kind of backwards, really backwards, because do the thing you love, then you're pumped up, then you're like, Man, I nailed that. I'm awesome. I'm great. Let's do this. Let's do that. And consequently, to your point, you get more and more done without the effort of now I've got to do this. Now I've got to do that, and you'll see that. You know, you can have the four hour work week if you want. You can really it. It's kind of weird, because it's actually you are hustling in a really different way. But it's a hustle that feels good. It feeds your heart, it feels your soul. That's the hustle we want that. We go, Yeah, I got that done now I'm going to do this. Now. I'm going to do that. You know what? Now I am done. I I've got more than I thought I was going to get accomplished, and I still have the rest of my day to do what I'd like to do as well, you know, some extracurricular stuff or whatever. Or keep moving until it doesn't feel good. What? What I will say is, when it doesn't feel good, stop, take a break, realign however you want to grab something to eat, talk to a friend, whatever it is that gets you out of that momentum of just spiraling and get back into the zone. And to your point, it may be the next day. It may be two days, but I will tell you, the more that I am off work doing what I love, the more I crave it and I want to do it, and it's not a problem, it's not a hustle, it's not a burden, or I'm not a martyr. I'm really loving what I'm doing, awesome

Robert Plank 25:37 stuff. And so I mean, do you ever see people like, still unable to get out of their own way. Like, do you see some people? Maybe they're, they're just, like, not super motivated, or they don't have a very good entrepreneurial personality or, or, you know, they're just too set in, kind of the old, like, employee nine to five way of thinking. I mean, do you ever see like, anyone like that, who just Still, despite all this good advice just kind of can't get there absolutely.

Heather Criswell 26:03 And I think it's okay to have the idea that you're not an entrepreneur. I think that we we sell being an entrepreneur. And I've been laughing, because what I've been hearing is, you know, all this freedom, and you get to do whatever you want, whenever you want. I've been an entrepreneur for over 25 years, and I have not been able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want, and had all this freedom when I own my preschool that was the most chained I've ever been in life, because I had to be there. I had kids that relied on me in order to live. So I got one vacation in seven years, and I was stressed the entire time. So it's an idea. There are a lot of people that really love doing a job, going to a nine to five, knowing that it's done at five o'clock. They can walk away, not think anything about it, and have a life. And I think that that is beautiful. I think that there is a natural entrepreneurial side of all of us, and whether you foster it and nurture it is up to you. I think that we all have it. But again, if it's not your calling, if it's not what you love doing, and that might be a time to re evaluate that if I haven't been successful, I haven't felt good about it. I don't really like doing it. If it burdens me, I'm tired, then go back to work and test that out, see how it feels. It's not a bad thing to work. We need everybody on this planet to do their deal. And whatever your deal is, whatever you sign up for, is your deal. That's supporting the world in some way. I am incredibly grateful for the crossing guards that volunteer their time at our in our city, or or or make minimum wage if that, because they're keeping our kids safe. What better job could I ask somebody to do? So I don't think it's, it's necessary for all of us to be entrepreneurs. So if you're, if you don't feel it, then be gentle with yourself and say, you know, it's just not for me. And quite frankly, being an entrepreneur is not all that in a bag of potato chips all the time. Like, it's not all fun and games. It's a lot of stress. It's it. I think it's something that that you really have to love in order to do and that I will say, with all of my businesses, I love them. I loved showing up, and when I stopped loving showing up, I sold them. That's what happened. Perfect.

Robert Plank 28:30 I mean, that makes total sense, that just to test things out, we're all on our own path. If you if you don't like it anymore, if the funds gone, then sell that business and readjust. And what I'm hearing kind of taking away, as you're saying all this is like, do what gives you that fulfillment, right? And like, I mean, a lot of people, including me, like, I'm not happy. I wouldn't be happy with a nine to five job. I'd always want to be kind of building something, or be having the opportunity to think of something in my subconscious, on my off hours, but I definitely know people like who who would just love to be able to leave all their all their problems at work, and have that boss make decisions for them. So this is all making perfect sense, just that, you know, if I think a lot of people think that the dream is, win the lottery, get paid every day, you don't have to get out of bed, but that just sounds like a pointless, meaningless life, and I'd rather have something that has meaning, has significance for me. And like you said, for some people, that's being an employee, other people that's being an entrepreneur, and that thing might change. And the nature in the business you have, the service you provide, the lifestyle you have. So if it's like all passive income versus coaching, those things might change. And so I think it's really important for us to kind of be aware of are things working for us, are things not working for us, and be honest with ourselves so that we can kind of change into what we love in the present moment. So I mean, I really enjoyed our conversation today. I want to make sure that everyone knows all about Heather Criswell your web. Sites, your blog, where your books, whatever you have going on. So what do you feel like sharing with us today? Well,

Heather Criswell 30:05 thank you so much for having me. I so appreciate it. I love talking like it just lights me up. So I appreciate the opportunity to be on on your podcast, and you can find me at wise inside.com and and wise inside is all about that wisdom within. And it's all coming back to, you know what you love? You know what you want on this planet. Follow that. And so I'm at wise inside.com, my books how to raise a happy child and be happy too. And wise talk from the other side. Are all there to support people in where they're at exactly now, and to remember that everything circles back to love, love for yourself, love for our kids, and love for each other as a community as a whole. So thank you so much for having me. I so appreciate it. Thank

Robert Plank 30:50 you. I'm glad to have you on so everyone, make sure to go to wise inside.com that's W, i, s, e, i n, s, I D, e.com, if you feel like checking out some of those books, the podcast, the blog, go to that site. See wherever your heart or wherever love leads you and and you know, look for some of those breakthroughs, and look for those problems. Are the solutions of the problems you're looking to solve in your life. So make sure to go to wise insight.com and if you feel like today's episode connected with you. Maybe listen to it in a week or so after you've slept on it, to get sort of that extra definite, but just make sure that you're not living someone else's life. Make sure you're not living that life that you hate. I mean, eating a frog doesn't sound very advertising for me in the morning. So I'd rather eat the thing that I like to do that gets me to where I need to go. So it makes perfect sense. Go to wise insight.com. And thanks Heather for stopping by and sharing all this fun stuff with

Heather Criswell 31:45 us. Thank you so much. I so appreciate it. Do you run your

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