1365: Building Meaningful Networks in the Digital Age with Master Connector Steve Spiro

Robert Plank 0:00 Wow. All right, we're here with Mr. Steve. It's the Mr. Steve master connector show. So Mr. Steve Spiro is an inspirational speaker. He gets hired to be on stage to help people break through barriers, because this digital area is great. It's connected us all, but it's also created barriers. So Mr. Steve is all about connecting authentically and helping others be focused to create more meaningful connections, especially inspiring those dang introverts to get out of our comfort zones and connect more effectively. So Mr. Steve, glad to see you.

Steve Spiro 0:34 What's going on, Robert. Steve spear the master connector coming at your library. Direct here.

Robert Plank 0:39 Very nice, and I appreciate it too. And you somehow, I can't describe it, but you've got the motivational speaker look, and you got the radio voice, and we introduced you. But yeah, there we go. So how about you fill in the gaps? Tell me what you're all about, what makes you stand out, what's just got you so excited these days?

Steve Spiro 0:56 Yeah. I mean, you heard, you sort of started talking a little bit about it, right? So it was an introvert that, you know, was challenged by a mentor of mine years back, and he said, meet three strangers every day. And you know, living in New York that that's a bit of a, you know, a challenge, if you will. Because he said, You know, I mean, you're in New York, you kind of feel like, if you talk to strangers, you're going to get shot, kidnapped or killed. But I did it, and still do it to this day, and I it stretches me, and I've created a real big network, and people start asking me to speak, and today the the goal is to be paid to travel the world, speak and inspire and be a beacon of light and inspire people from a human connection perspective. So it's it's been a great journey. Just got back from Bali and Singapore, and love traveling, and can't wait to do more of it, not only traveling, but But speaking and traveling as well.

Robert Plank 1:47 Very nice. You're living an amazing life, and you're putting good in the world and seeing it a good example for what many of us should be aspiring to. And this whole some of these ideas we already mentioned, right? Like, like speaking and talking to strangers, like, is it silly? I mean, even like, what you and me are doing here, right? For some reason we're two guys, like we met once before. We don't really know each other, and we're on camera. And then I've been doing a lot of, like, free calls and post calls with my podcast guests, like other business people, getting to know what they're going what they're doing. And it's just it seems so awkward, but it's kind of like you said you you charge forward, and you do it because you know that on the other side is building a business, helping others, making money, but in the moment, like, do you think the same as I do? Like, it's really weird, right?

Steve Spiro 2:31 I think in the beginning I did, but after doing it for so long, and you know what happened for me, is it, you know, being out there, meeting strangers, out and about in the community that was really awkward in the beginning. And then I started to cultivate incredible relationships, and I met people that became friends for life and collaborations and and that that changed things. And then when COVID hit, especially in the Northeast, where you couldn't do anything, yeah, if you even got out, you had a mask on, and that kind of shifted things. And I started doing these zoom calls around the country, and I was doing at one point, it felt like seven zooms a day, especially during the week, and I just got comfortable, and I felt really good about it. And you know, when I was speaking to people on zoom it still happens this day, people get emotional, they open up, and yeah, completely shifted my perspective. So yeah, I think it's the most coolest thing in the world. I used to think it was awkward in the beginning, but, yeah, I mean, it's, it's a blessing. And you know, when people tell you at the end of the call, Hey, that was really amazing, I really appreciate you. You know, yeah, it's, it's worth it. The juice is worth the squeeze, if you will.

Robert Plank 3:34 Ooh, that's a good way of putting it. Well, I think you're so right that the pandemic has really, uh, accelerated a lot, and especially made zoom more mainstream. And especially for me personally, the last month or two, the calendar has just been filled with all these worthwhile zooms. And like they say about I guess, extroverts gain energy being around people, and introverts lose energy. And boy, I have these days, like I woke up this morning, I was guesting on a podcast. I've got some of these meetings, including with you, and then this evening, I'm guessing on another podcast, and and boy is it quite a mental taxation. And so you have all these wonderful connections you've made. Is there one that you think really is, which is really worthwhile or really great to hear about? So that way we can understand for ourselves why the juice is worth a squeeze.

Steve Spiro 4:25 Yeah. I mean, I just give you one example, right? So I, you know, I have a pod connector show, and this, as of this recording we were at yesterday was our 212th episode, and it's been amazing. We've had incredible guests on the show. Long story short, at one point, a young man through LinkedIn reached out and he wanted to be a guest on my show, and so we had a nice conversation, and just started getting to know each other, and I started to realize he probably wasn't going to be a fit for the show, because we have certain parameters. But at the same time, great young man craving mentorship, craving. The ability to kind of have a better life. And we start, we started having a conversation about how I could best help him. Long story short, one of the best friends today, he's he's come, you know, to stay with me and my wife, and we've hosted him. He's hosted me in North Carolina. They were like, you know, hundreds and, you know, 1000s of miles away from each other. But it's been a great collaboration, friendship, mentorship, relationship, it's been amazing. And I it's just from an initial call through zoom.

Robert Plank 5:29 Very nice, very inspiring. You never know what it will lead to. And that speaks to that, yeah, this. Need to have some face time with people, right, be in proximity to others that are successful. And if you have a low number of leads, you'll be really desperate, right? Be hanging on to like, all those zoom calls like this, better lead to something. But if you have a lot going on, then it can progress more naturally. And it's almost like a Mr. Rogers type of thing, right? Like the people in my life, I'm just hey, looking to have some quality conversations, looking on how to help them, and how do we tap into some of that energy? Because I can understand that someone might make a lot of excuses, right? They might say, Oh, well, I don't have time to have someone over for dinner at my house. I don't have time for these LinkedIn conversations and and what would you say to someone like that, who says that they're already so busy with everything else in life?

Steve Spiro 6:20 Well, listen, you know, if you're, if you're extremely happy with your life this, stay with it, right? My mom said her Bronx wisdom, if nothing changes, nothing changes. So if you're, if you're content, then go for it. But if you're looking for a change, yeah, you may want to consider different things. And I just for me, the ability to connect with people and have conversations with people, I think, been extremely rewarding. And it's a it's really a mindset it's a mindset shift, but it's also heart shift. You know, I learned to put my heart and my mind onto being others focused, as part of my four pillars of my book, but my show and what I speak about on stage is, one is being others focused. And the second is being authentic, right? And I And when you do that, and you start, especially when you give, right? One of my favorite books is the Go Giver. In fact, Bob Berg was one of the guests on our on our show, and you know that concept of giving? You know, I've had the best three or four years of my entire life financially, and it's because I've given and given and given. It's the law of reciprocity, the law of sowing and reaping. You know my book, I call it the law of the secret of the corn. You're playing corn, you're going to get back corn, but you don't get back apples. You get back corn, but you get back in abundance, right? Because you're going to get a stock of corn. They put three or four kernels of corn in the ground, but you get a stalk of corn with like eight, eight or nine years of corn, with no hundreds of kernels. Of course, you get a lot more than than when you what you plant. So again, if your life is great, stick with it. But if you want to change, try being a giver, a go giver. And I found that doing that through conversations and having multiple conversations, to me, it's not something I have to do. I have the privilege I get to do and I love doing it.

Robert Plank 8:04 And that's a great mindset that's happened to in a lot of different ways, right? The idea that I don't have to do things, I get to do things and then, well, what does it all mean? What is it all for? Well, of course, I have to take care of myself and meet my own needs. But you hear a lot about the psychology of once you've made a lot of money, once you've achieved a lot, then mentoring others and helping others. That's where the real excitement, the real addiction, is, right, where you're leaving the world better than where you found it. And so speaking to that, like, what are you working on in that category, as far as the so called philanthropy, or the helping others giving back. Like, what are you striving, achieving, as far as improving the world?

Steve Spiro 8:45 Yeah, I mean, well, first of all, I'm a big believer in tithing. I, you know, give over 10% way over 10% and I, you know, to different causes, different, you know, things I believe in. So that's a big part of it, right? And even when I was broke, and, you know, my whole world turned upside down at one point. I was still doing it right. So that's one piece of it. But I believe what I'm doing in terms of the master connector show and having these calls to me, that's the way I contribute to the world. It's through being able to, you know, can, you know, be a blessing to people in life. At the end of every connect call that I have, I say, hey, what can I do be to be a blessing? What can I do to add value? And I'm always looking at, you know, do introductions. I'm looking to find things that can be valuable for people. So it's just part of the way I live my life. I don't think there's anything massive, like, I don't have, like, some you know, foundation that I'm, you know, starting, or I'm a part of, but I think the way I live my life is what you're speaking about.

Robert Plank 9:51 And this idea of, like, the kind of, the, I don't know if, like, three way connection is the way to put it, but like, the, you know, connecting others, that's one of those concepts where. For a lot of years, I heard it spoken about abstractly, but then I met a few people like you, where I'd actually see it in action, right? I'd have a conversation with someone, they say, oh, like, chit chatting, what are you working on? And they'd be like, hey, you know you're doing this. It would be great if you spoke to this person, right? You have this problem, this person has a solution, or you have this podcast, this person would be a guest, and I would see something as simple as a three person Facebook Messenger or email or LinkedIn, and then they'd be have almost like a template, right? But it was highly customized. It was like, Hey, here's Person A, I think you'd like to meet with Person B for this reason. And hey, person B, you'd like you benefit from person A for that reason. And what's your thought process in that? In that, because I've had myself, I've been trying to tap into that more, right, when I have a podcast, because I talk to them after we chit chat, and I'm like, hey, you know, I don't personally have anything I can do but meet with this person and then send the message, and I'm looking to do that more deliberately. So how do you do that consistently and like, what's your like, template or thought process? As far as this kind of like, three person, two way introduction,

Steve Spiro 11:09 I'm probably not as talented as most people in that my brain short circuits with a with 30,000 connections on LinkedIn. And you know, I don't. I just, Oh, you got to speak to this person or that person. It doesn't work that way. I don't, I don't think that way. My brain just does not work in that sense. And but also, at the same time, I've seen people do that for me, and I appreciate it. Like, you know, I tell people I want to be on a TEDx stage, and they're like, I'm going to connect you with a with a TEDx speaker. And I appreciate it. But I don't need to speak to another TEDx speaker. I've spoken to a lot of them. I need to, a lot of them. I need to, I need to get in touch with someone who wants to bring on a TEDx speaker on a stage that they're looking to do, right? But I appreciate it. So the random, hey, I should talk to this person doesn't work for me. But what instead I do is this. I say, hey, look through my connections on LinkedIn. I've curated 30,000 connections. I feel like it's a real value and asset I like to leverage it. I said, look through my connections on LinkedIn, put a list of of six people that you would like to be connected with. Now to me, the person searching through my and by the way, you don't have to scroll through 30,000 you could sort and filter. And whether you have you know navigator or not, you could sort and filter. And they know better who they're looking to connect with than I do. I think so they they tell me the six I ask them to text me the six names, just the names and boom, yeah, I have some kind of templated wording. But what's interesting is I get a lot of great reactions from the people that that I make connections with and for In fact, some people I haven't many people in my because, you know, you have 30,000 connections, you're not going to be able to have have conversations with all 330 1000 of them. I would have liked to say if I could, but I don't. But there's people that I've never, ever spoken to that I'll make a connection to, I'll make that three way message to, and here's what they I get often. Hey, Steve, thanks so much for the introduction. I really appreciate, in fact, you and I, we need to get on a call, like, like, almost one. Only one time, many times, did the guy say, I don't even know you. Why are you introducing Well, I connected with the guy. I just said, I'm going to unconnect him, but, but other than that, people are very appreciative. So it's I'm adding value to the person I'm introducing, but I believe that the person I'm introducing them to is also feeling really bad, like they've gotten value. And it's, it's, it's been a win, win all around.

Robert Plank 13:28 Very nice, very cool. That's a great different approach to say, to put the the asker in the driver's seat, right, instead of you guessing they can go and see what stands out to them. And I think it's important distinction that you said there is that, well, you're not necessarily connecting a peer to appear. You're connecting a complimentary relationship, right? Ideally, like that TEDx speaker gets on a TEDx stage. It's kind of like if someone says, oh, you're a podcaster. Who's this other podcaster? Okay, great, but that's just kind of keep me at that same level. Or like, I was on a, like, a marketers cruise once and and the guy running it, he like, pair people up in the cabins. He said, Hey, Robert, you're from California. You should stay with this other guy in California. Well, great, but all you're doing is finding similar attributes, not something that would that connects together. And so you bring up an important kind of idea here, is having those LinkedIn skills and having those Sales Navigator skills, and we've all heard of these things, like, you know, slide into the DMS or provide value, or make the valuable posts, or like and comment and share, but as far as what we should be doing to stay active on LinkedIn and build up our connections, like, what do you think should be done more? Or what's underrated about LinkedIn?

Steve Spiro 14:42 Well, number one, I think post regularly. I do it every day. I'm not saying you need to, but post regularly, put out good content. Number two, make sure your profile is really, really good. Like, really good. Like, you need to really take some time and really come up with a personal brand. LinkedIn is about personal brand, not about you selling, not about a company. It's you, right? You're selling you people do business with people they know, like and trust. So make sure and look at mine, if you want as an example. I don't mean that an egotistical way, but I've learned from a lot of really good people, and I've taken a lot of time to create that so good, good profile, you know, put out decent content, good content. That's not salesy, that's add value. That sometimes I heard edutainment, right? So things that are interesting, that made people interested, obviously like and don't just like but comment right, or reshare with comments, right? Because that has a lot more value. But the biggest thing that I do to answer your question, to grow my network, is I'm out there every day. I'm adding connections, and now I'm maxed out at 30,000 so I can't do that much. But what I what I would do is I'd go to Who do you know, who you may know, and you could, you could go in there all day long. And I know there's a certain amount of they limit you before they lock you down, but do that every day. I did that for a very long time. At one point, there was no lockdown, where you can do as many as you want. So you could do that, you know, maybe 10 minutes a day, go in to who you may know, and obviously be a little discerning, right? Or you could even sort, sort and search based on parameters, second, second level connections. And then you do connect, you know, connect requests. And I don't put the customized name, the customized note, I just literally hit connect. And because I have a good profile, I have good content. And also I do ask for recommendations quite a lot, because I do all that, when people look at my profile, they take it serious, like, oh, I should probably this looks like an interesting person. I should connect with this person. I should say, accept. Now, does everyone do that? Of course not, but it's to your point earlier in the conversation. It's a numbers game. So you just, you just keep, continue to connect, connect. And that's that's a major way I believe, in how you can grow your profile. And by the way, the larger your connections, the more credibility you have, the larger connections. When you want to speak to a C level executive, and maybe there's a good chance that there's 15 mutual C level connections that he or she may know, and they're like, well, 15 of my colleagues know this person, I probably should connect with him too, because he's probably valuable. So through growing the network, it's going to add value to you and credibility to you when you're when you're reaching out as well, to connect with them and communicate with them.

Robert Plank 17:20 Very cool. And you said a lot of great things that I think everyone needs to hear about LinkedIn, right? Because sometimes with social media, the numbers are all out of whack. The numbers are all over the place, right? You think about Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, if someone has 20,000 followers or 50,000 followers on like, how many are real? How many are bots? But in LinkedIn, it's a different game, isn't it? It's like you have these kind of daily weekly habits, and you put you say, you post every day, you at least block out some time every week to be expanding your network and when. And I feel like I've probably spent every day on LinkedIn for the past five years, so I'm really kind of getting fluent in it. And there are a lot of things that like that you're pointing out here that, like, I definitely didn't notice about LinkedIn until, like, years had passed, right? Like, sure, everyone notices like that top above the fold and the branding, but then the things like the number of followers, it's like, okay, if someone has like, two or 3000 followers, like, that's probably, like, the baseline that probably just happened by having an account. But then if they're at like, 5000 they're getting there, 10,000 20,000 plus. I'm like, Okay, now they're serious. And then once they're at your level, like you're at 30,000 I'm like, Okay, now here's the here's someone who really knows this stuff. And then I had a mentor who pointed out the the endorsements and the recommendations, and I hadn't even noticed or thought of that. And now when I see someone, I scroll down almost to that immediately, like, okay, like, who are those people, and how many are there? And then, like, I used to make the mistake of, like, putting a book, if I had a book, I'd put it in the resume section. It's like, No, put those in the publication. So there's, like, a spot for all these things. And then, like you said, you you keep at this. And then when there's and you kind of build up your your social capital, so to speak. And then when there's someone you really want to connect with, you connect with, if you have 15 people in common, then cool, you're in right now. You can now you have, like, the icebreakers, conversation starters, things like that. And so we're approaching the end of our conversation, and I really want to make sure that we cover the good stuff, right? You have this, these amazing ideas, amazing podcast, amazing book. What's the missing hidden in our conversation here? What should I be asking you? I just don't know to ask you,

Steve Spiro 19:29 I guess maybe if you would ask me, you know, how, why? What's the value of being authentic, right? Cuz that's a big part of what I speak about, right? What is that like? I think there's a lot of people that keep the conversation very superficial, but what I found is through being authentic, like I remember, I was on a podcast with a gentleman, and, you know, we're talking and he asked some questions, and I opened up. I told him about being bullied and picked on learning disabled, and he said, I feel obligated. I want to start sharing a little bit. I. To tell you a little bit something I don't usually share. And as he did, I saw him get his eyes got walled up. He almost started crying, and I didn't do it on the air, but afterwards, I like, Does that ever happen to you on the podcast? He said, Never. I said, Okay, I did my job. So what happens is, through being authentic and sharing vulnerable things that maybe you don't normally share, people, the barrier comes down. And a big part of what I speak about, I think you, you shared in the beginning of the intro is, I, were I, I speak about, on stage and on how to break barriers through, through that human, real human connection, and by creating real human connection in this digital era, which is really the screen, created a barrier, it has created a barrier. You know that, you know the the Alpha generation is the generation coming up that they literally, you know, one young person sitting next to another on a on a couch at home together, but they're texting each other, not even talking. So we want to be able to break that barrier, and so I believe a lot of it's done through being others, focused, like I spoke about before, and also being authentic. That that is a key factor. And don't be afraid to share us some vulnerable things, right? That doesn't have to be horrible, deep, dark secrets, but be vulnerable.

Robert Plank 21:07 I like it. Be vulnerable. It makes you more interesting, right? You figure Eddie's superhero, like Batman, Superman has kryptonite or the the whole key hooks out uncontrollably, right? It doesn't mean that you're you're all weakness, but you have a little bit of a wrinkle, uh, humanity and imperfection that that boy, that's character. And so if someone is excited about the possibilities here, about saying, Well, hey, I should be vulnerable. I should connect with others. I want more of the the Steve Spiro secret sauce. What's the call to action here? What's the next step?

Steve Spiro 21:39 Well, first of all, definitely find me on LinkedIn. Make sure you told me you mentioned that you saw me on on the on Robert Plank podcast, for sure, but, but find me there. You also could find me. Go to my website, Steve spiro.com or if you know you'd like to hire me as a speaker. Spiro hyphen global.com check out my master connector show at master connector dot show but, but definitely, first, first and foremost, I'm the big LinkedIn guy, fine man, LinkedIn, for sure.

Robert Plank 22:06 That's what it's all about, right? That's it. Yeah, if you were, if you were saying, oh, relationships, but go to my impersonal website. What? Like? What the heck. So you're saying before doing anything else, it just takes a click, right? You go at the linkedin.com you search. Steve Spiro. That's last iro. He's, he's, he's the first one. And you see him on it, on the podcast, you'll you'll see it, recognize his face there, and the URL in LinkedIn is Steve Spiro master connector. So you go there, you you subscribe to him, you add the connection, and that way you'll see about his amazing videos and updates from overcoming challenges to inspiring. And he's an inspirational speaker. You go to Spiro dash global, if you want to know about his speaking, specifically breaking barriers for the real human connection in the digital era. And then you said, Steve, spiro.com is that website and master connector dot show. And Steve says, specifically tell them that you came from Robert Plank, marketer of the day podcast, that way everybody wins from it, right? We get these kind of referrals happening. And as people are checking out your LinkedIn here, Mr. Steve, and digesting everything you've said so far, it's time for the ending scary part of the show where I try to put you on the spot and I ask for a fun quote or lesson that has served you in life or in business. So what comes to mind for a fun quote or lesson?

Steve Spiro 23:26 Fun quote or lesson? Well, you know, I you are, you are putting me on the spot. Look at that. I appreciate. Yes, they you stumped the chump. Right? There we there we are, right? I would say this. It comes down to again, being others focused and making sure that you're, you're, you're being that go giver, and again you reap what you sow so good, you reap good. That's really what I'll say again, is, I'll just re emphasize what I said, which is, you so good, you reap good. And if you're so bad, you're going to read bad so just, just always good. Be selling good seed. That's it.

Robert Plank 24:04 I like it. It's up to you. Do you want to live in scarcity or abundance? Well, hopefully the answer is abundance. And if that is true, then check out master connector. Dot show it's every Wednesday, 1pm Eastern Time, and the very excellent book Tao of a master connector. Mr. Steve Spiro, Keynote, inspirational speaker, master connector, wonderful speaking here today

Steve Spiro 24:24 I really appreciate this is an honor being with you, Robert,