793: Self-Sabotage: Change Labels and Shift Your Mindset with Jeanie Cisco-Meth

Robert Plank 0:00 Hello. Hey everyone. Welcome back to the marketer of the day podcast. We are here with Jeannie Cisco meth, and you can find her at j, e, a n, I, E, C, I S, C, O, m, e, t, h.com, Jeannie Cisco meth.com and Jeannie is a two time best selling author. She's an educator, professional speaker, and she is an expert for giving you access to those tools to tame the bully between your ears and have more confidence work better with your team, and we're going to be discussing all that and more. Genie, glad to be talking to you.

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 0:32 I'm so glad to be here, Robert, thank you so much. I really appreciate it, and

Robert Plank 0:36 thank you for solving my so can you tell us, like, WHAT IS YOUR PASSION these days? I mean, what has you fired up? What's your focus?

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 0:43 My focus is really helping people tame the bully between their ears, because it's just so much up here in our minds, right? That stop us? Yeah, there's people outside of us that say, Hey, you can't do it, or you're not good enough, or whatever. But really it's the person in our head that stops us more often than anything else.

Robert Plank 1:03 And I can relate to that, even though it's it's difficult to even admit that that like there. I mean, I don't think I'm I'm that different in that if I don't, if I'm not careful, and if I don't catch myself, I will think mean things about myself, but I wouldn't think about anyone that I wouldn't think about my own worst enemy. And so, so, yeah, I mean, like, Tell me about that. Like, so we have this bully between our ears that, like, self sabotages us and and messes us up. So, I mean, like, why does that happen? And how do we get out of it?

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 1:36 Very good question. What happens is, we decide to let other people tell us who we are. So in elementary school, I was told you're too stupid, you're never going to make it through school. Now, I'm a two time best selling author, but I had to remove those labels that other people stuck on me that told me, you know, because there's always people that tell you that you're not good enough, you're stupid, you know, you're too young, too old, whatever it's the labels that we accept and put on, and where that determine where we go in life. So every now and then, we've got to stop and go, Okay, what labels am I carrying about myself? And then we say, Whoa, let's change those. And we start peeling those off. And we do that by putting on new ones. So to be able to write my first book, I had to peel off the stupid label and put on the Smart Label. And it started with, hey, I can do this. I can do this. It's all right, I can help so you've got to coach yourself, just like you would. You know somebody who came to you and said, Oh, I can't do this. You say nice things to them. Say nice things to you too.

Robert Plank 2:40 That's interesting. Yeah, I hadn't thought about it that way, that if someone came to me and and said, like, anywhere close to the labels or the keywords or the phrases that that I would use to myself, like, I would jump in and and find a way to, like, to kind of counteract that. And so, so that's a good reminder of that, that we need to do that. And also what I found interesting is that you kind of, you kind of mentioned there that you you remove one label and put the other label on. And I kind of, I don't know if I'm if I'm on the right or the wrong track here, but it feels like it kind of goes both ways. Right. There's the like you have sure you have to get rid of the bad to put the good on there. But also something that has been on my mind is like, you can't just delete, you have to replace, right? And it's, it's like, easy to say, like, oh, well, if people tell you that you're stupid and you have to remove the stupid label, well, you can't just remove you have to replace it with something else to kind of fill the gap. So is that on the right track? Am I? Am I thinking crazy here? No,

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 3:37 that's exactly right. You have to replace it, because if you remove something, then there's a hole. Something's got to fill the hole. And if I don't choose what fills the hole, I get more negative. But if I choose what goes in the hole, I'm golden. Okay,

Robert Plank 3:56 and so, so as far as like, so there, there's, there's your kind of like journey, and you are a speaker, and you help other people. What sorts of labels are other people coming to you with? Do they also have the stupid label? Are there others that are more common? What's like usually happening here? So

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 4:15 the most common label that people come with is I want to, but I don't think I can, you know? So they have this idea. I work mostly with entrepreneurs and business owners, and they come to me. They're like, have this great idea, but I don't know what to do, or I don't know how to do it. I'm like, How is the wrong question? You don't start with, how you start with, why? Why do you want to do whatever it is that you're doing? Why do you want to have a podcast? You know, why do you want to build this widget? Or why do you want to help people? Then that why gets me through the obstacles? Because I don't know how. I've never done it before. So if I start with how that will usually shut me down, because my mind goes, nope, got nothing? It. Don't know what to do, and so I've got to remind it, no, it's okay. We're going to do this. Why are we going to do this? Because it's important, because it saves lives, because I enjoy it, because other people enjoy it, whatever it is. Then your mind goes, Oh, this is probably important to us. We better figure out how. And it does. It's amazing.

Robert Plank 5:21 That's interesting to think about. And, I mean, it probably, it didn't click for me until I want to say maybe, like, I mean, like, five or six years ago, that that how is not all there is. And I used to think that way, right? I used to think, well, here's what I need to do, and here are the steps to get there. And I always, I used to think that everything else was just kind of padding, right? Like, like, you're an educator, and sometimes you have to, like, like, kind of ease people into whatever that you're talking about. And I remember in school, I used to be like, just give me the assignment. Just like, give me the math problem to solve, just give me the steps. And then it's only maybe it's like, from getting older or something like that, but this whole idea that you're saying of, well, how comes later. Don't start with how and, and, I mean, it makes total sense when you think about it, because it's like, well, if, if I'm getting if I need to go to school, I'm not going to be worried about what I'm doing in the afternoon. I just need to worry about, like, getting to school. And it's And lately, I've just been dealing with people that are hung up on the details. And I've been trying to maybe break through and say, Well, you know, you're asking me how long a book chapter needs to be, isn't is it 10 pages or 15 pages? Well, that's a problem that comes later or Well, how long is a podcast episode? Is it 12 minutes or 30 minutes? Well, that's like a minor detail that probably doesn't matter. But I see like I'm guilty of getting hung up on it, and you see it happen too, of just get letting, like, the tiniest of details that's like five light years in the future, stopping you from even starting and so and so. It's easy enough to say, well, how comes later? Why is more important? But, I mean, how do we how? But how do we get there, right? How do we kind of get out of this bad way of thinking and and like, have the powerful why? And have that? Why that? Like, gets us started and excited and gets us powering through the difficulties. I mean, it's easy to say, but how do we do it? The

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 7:14 first thing is, realize that it's not going to be perfect. So many people wait until it's perfect. Well, guess what? It's never perfect. You have to start. And then in the process of starting, you figure out the clumps and the bumps and the tweaks, and then you can measure, monitor and adjust as you go along. But way too many people sit back and go, Well, I'm not sure how, or I don't know if that's going to work, so I'm not going to do it. Perfect example. I'm currently working with Tony Robbins team. And as you know, his business, everybody's business was affected last year in 2020 and he built a zoom stadium. I was at his first ever Unleash the Power Within that was virtual. And he had 15 high ceilings. It was a 360 degree thing. We had 23,000 people. Now they just did an event last week that had 953,000 people, largest event ever. Why? Because he started with, I've got to do this. I've got to help people. Right now, people are falling apart. People are freaking out. I've got to help them. How can we do that? So it started with, why doesn't have to be perfect. We just got to figure this out. So when I did my first presentation, when I transitioned from classroom to the stage, it was clunky. It was oh my gosh, right? My notes got mixed up, all kinds of stuff, and I still was able to help people. So what it's about helping people? It's not about me, it's about them and how I can help.

Robert Plank 8:52 And I found that last part really helpful for me many times when I mean, and again, it kind of relates to the inner bully idea, right? Like, if the focus is on on you and you worried about not messing up and you worrying about doing a good job, like it, it seems like that route set yourself up for failure, and it sets you for being nervous and focusing on all these things that you shouldn't be focusing on, and having no way to to, like, get out of that, but then turning that attention to more of, like, the people you're helping and the audience, it seems to, like, just make you not even notice or not care as much about the anxiety. And so you're mentioning here about how you kind of transitioned from being an educator into being more of a speaker, and you have your books, and you were on TV and all this other cool stuff. So like, what was that journey like, and where did you get messed up, and how did you get out of it?

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 9:47 So the journey has is still continuing, and it is a roller coaster ride, I'm just saying. But what it was, was, it was take the next step, take the next step, and having in my. Mind with a vision of who I wanted to help. How can I help these people? Because when I focused on me, I noticed all my mistakes, all my flaws, all the things I was doing wrong, and it stopped me. But when I stopped and said, Hang on, this program saves lives, this program changes and empowers people, why am I holding back? When I started looking at them and how it could help them, then my fear melted away, and I realized that I'm human, they're human, and if I make a mistake, it's okay, we can clean it up and go again. And so I think that was one of the most powerful things that I realized, was doesn't have to be perfect. I have to measure, monitor and adjust along the way. It's still not perfect, but it's getting better all the time,

Robert Plank 10:49 and I think about that too, as far as like, the the perfection and and keeping in mind of like, well, the improving it means improving it for those people that use this product or use this book, or improving a speech for people that receive it. And that's that, I mean, that's huge, right? Because it's easy to say, well, let me sit down and let me, like, tinker with my presentation. Let me tinker with my book. Well, you're just, you're kind of in a you're stuck in a thought bubble. But then, and it's, it's so like counterintuitive, where so many things that you like you say or write or teach or whatever, it hits people in different ways, and the things that like you think are important, so many people don't think are important. And then vice versa. And that's yet another one of those pieces of advice that took forever for it to click for me that there are some things that I had no idea were were more helpful than, like, the rest of a speech or a presentation, until I just tried out like my material, like these, like some of these comedians will just go all across the country just trying out jokes, just because you can sit at home all day long every day, but who you don't know for sure how it will actually play out in the real world. And so you, you had this message, you presented entrepreneurs, and what kinds of things were you, were you teaching them? Was it kind of along the lines of what we're talking about today, or like, what was your message as you were getting getting going here.

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 12:20 Yeah, that's still the Well, when I very first started, I had a program called bully proofing you, and it was for teens. And so when I first transitioned from the high school education setting into audiences that were high school students, and then I realized, Wait, there's a much bigger bully here that nobody's talking about, and that's the one that's in our head. And so I just kind of tweaked a message a little bit, and I said, Hey, I can help you in your business. I can help people be more productive by helping them take the focus off themselves and focus on helping people. And so it's been this journey of, you know, a few stages. My first year, I think I was on maybe three stages, and then they're slowly grown. In fact, last month, we booked 31 stages in 31 days. So now that was a goal that I set out, that my mentor challenged me to do, but I didn't think that was possible. And so to be able to achieve that and do that's pretty cool, pretty cool.

Robert Plank 13:16 And I like that idea a lot because it's, once again, it's easy to get stuck in this weird self sabotage of either it's too much or it's not enough, right? If you said, Well, I'll just be on one stage this year, that seems like a pitiful goal. And it seems like the kind of thing where, like, Okay, if you do it once you're done, and maybe you'll procrastinate all year just to be on that one stage. And it seems like, well, even if I got on just one single stage, what's really the payoff? And then it doesn't become a habit. And then, likewise, if you said I'm going to be on 1000 stages, that's like quite a bit, but then, like, just that short window of time, and then something that is at the end of that limited time window, it's something impressive. It's 31 stages, but also within the day to day. It's also doable, right? One one day, one stage. And is this the kind of thing that that people need, like rethinking or retraining about? Because, like, I just as you were explaining that, like 31 stages, 31 days, it just made me think of all these half finished projects, all these ideas that were really good ideas, but there's just not enough time in the day, and it kind of like just maybe all this, like scarcity thinking instead of abundance thinking. And so what's I mean, what kind of bad thinking are people having and what needs correcting?

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 14:37 Well, I think one thing that entrepreneurs get caught up in is the power of Yes, and they forget about the power of No, because, you know, when you're starting out, you have to say yes to a lot. You've got to learn new things. You've got to try new things, you know, and things like that. But what happens is that once you reach a certain level of proficiency, then you've got to start saying no. You've got to start. Saying, hang on. Does this fit my mission and where I'm going? Because when I started be getting some notoriety, and people started finding me, all of a sudden, people started coming out of the woodwork with opportunities for me to join their business or to do this or that, and I'm like, Whoa. Hang on, hang on. I need to stay focused on where I'm going. Because I was telling one of my clients the other day, the worst thing that you can do is spend all your energy climbing the ladder to success, to find out that the ladder is against the wrong building. I don't ever want to do that. And so if I don't have clarity on where I'm going, then I can't say no. So so the mere fact that I have clarity lets me know, oh, this is a yes, this is a no, very easy, very quickly. So courage, confidence and clarity are three of the most important things you can have in your business,

Robert Plank 15:55 three Cs and so. So it seems like the way that you're what, what I'm getting from your answer here is that there's like the initial stage of just getting going, of just doing something, just getting started, where it is beneficial to say yes to many things, but then at some point, when once things become clear and the goal is more solid, and you're getting traction, then it becomes time to sit deliberately say no to more things. That way you don't have all these other distractions pulling you in all these directions. So how do we know if we've crossed that threshold? How do we know when it's no longer yes time and it's become no time? It's

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 16:38 a great question, and too many people don't ask it, so I can answer it for me and for some of my clients. And for me, it was when my kids said, Oh, that's what you look like as I walked out of my office because I'd been in there from way early in the morning until way late at night. And I was like, Whoa, something's out of balance here. And I started looking at how much time I was spending with other people, uplifting them, encouraging them, you know, telling Hey, you can do this, being a cheerleader for them, and giving them the tools that they could use. And my children, who were on the sidelines, not getting that same thing. So I had to start saying no to certain things so that it could say yes to my family and my kids. That's what it was for me.

Robert Plank 17:23 And do you think that sometimes you need to go past that, that boundary in order to know where it is? Because when you're like explaining that, I feel like even less with the podcasting, I dropped out of it for a little while, and then I picked it back up a few months ago, and I and whenever there was an appointment coming up on the calendar, I thought, you know, I don't really feel like going and go, walking out to my computer and being right here at this exact time, but then once I get into it, like, it's a lot, it's a lot more fun. And, I mean, there's so many things like that. Like, I mean, I used to do like, a weekly webinar, and that was fun, but then I felt like it was a lot of going through the motions, and I stopped doing it. But then I picked but then I picked it up again, and I thought, like, I'm glad I had a break. And I forgot how much fun it was. And I also it seems like I was able to, like, kind of come to able to combine the old with the new, like I had new, fresh ideas, but then I was also able to go back to, like, the tried and true fundamentals and I wonder if I had, if I had not had the burnout or the break of the leaving and coming back, I'm not. I might have, I don't know. I might have gone off a cliff, in a way. And so do you think that that's that's important for a lot of us? If, if something becomes like too much, or you go past the breaking point, or or you just like too tired, is it important to, like, make the mistake that will you you know where the mistake is. So

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 18:46 I think it's a different line for each person. Each person has a different line of what's too much, what's not enough. And the biggest thing is self care every day, you know? So I have scheduled every day certain chunks in my time where I go out and I sit in the sun under the pergola, and I listen to the creek, you know, or I go for a walk, or I call, you know, I have it on it, scheduled to go to lunch with a friend, or a Friday night every Friday night's family night, and everybody comes and we play games, or we watch a movie. We have some mores, you know. So those things are built in. First, I schedule my vacations first because they were the first thing to go before now they're the first thing to stay. And that gives me that balance between work and life, because it's, it's more of a harmony, you know, because sometimes I'll work extra, you know, and then sometimes I'm on vacation, the most important thing is being with what you're doing in that moment. Right now, I am all in with you, and then Friday evening, I'm going to be all in with my kids. So often we're doing one thing, wishing we were doing something else. And you're robbing both. And so decide this is what's on my schedule for right now, and I'm all in whatever it is.

Robert Plank 20:08 And that's really simple but powerful, that that idea of like being, being fully in the moment, having those maybe short bursts of productivity, having like appointments, that way you're not dragging things out, and that way you're not distracted. And I'm on this podcast, but I'm also playing with my phone and all these different things. It's just fully on this and folding on that. And I mean, you're reminding me of, like people, a lot of people talk about how it's easy to procrastinate and, you know, block out the time to do some work and get something done. But what you reminded me of is there are, there are a lot of people that like work too much or get too intense and have to schedule those blocks of time. And it's like the most, the most, like entrepreneurial focused, like workhorse, types of people will just put, like, these two or four hour blocks in the middle of the day just to walk around downtown or sit on the bench, like you're saying in the sun. And it seems almost silly to hear about it, but I agree it's so important to set aside that time, and it seems almost counterintuitive to schedule the vacation first and then to build everything around it. But what I'm hearing from you is, if you don't make that a priority, if you don't do that first, then it just won't happen. And that's a little scary,

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 21:30 right? Yeah, then you're trying to fit your personal life around your business, and your business can expand to take up everything, and then you forget why I started my business so I had more time with my kids. I started my business so I could help people. I started my business because I love to teach, and if I don't have time to do the things that I love to I start to resent teaching. I start to resent my clients, and that is not a good place to be, because I want to help. I want to be of service, and that means I got to celebrate my wins. I don't think we celebrate our wins near enough, and I've got to take time for me. I got to put my oxygen mask on first, so to speak.

Robert Plank 22:15 This is a deep conversation. This is a lot to think about, and you've taken it full circle as far as thinking about that why, and not just going through the motions and not just sitting down and moving forward and doing what you need to do. I mean, has your life and has your business grown into something that is not where you wanted to be? And did you start off with the best of intentions and saying, I wanted to have this time freedom. I wanted to have the freedom to do what I want, spend time with my kids, and have this, this really cool work life balance. But if it got way out of whack, maybe it's time to readjust and and we've just been hearing a lot of of times when things got really bad, or you had, like, a wake up up call, in a sense. And I think that, I think that's it's really important for us to maybe pay attention when the Wake Up Calls happen, and don't just power through and and not to let the the inner bully between our ears win. Because it's easy when something bad happens or we do something dumb, to say, well, that's just who I am. Well, no, that's just something that that happened to you. And so there's so much to think about. And so for those of us that maybe have a little bit of a wake up call that like entrepreneurs, that maybe are too heavy on the bullying, what is an easy win for us? If someone like has listened to our conversation and they say, Well, there's a lot of ideas and lots of things that I could and should be doing. Like, what if someone said, What can I do today? What can I do in 10 or 15 minutes today to get make some progress on solving this problem? What's the homework assignment? Homework

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 23:50 assignment is, pay attention to your thoughts. Pay attention to the things that you say to yourself. Become aware. Because awareness is the first step in change. You want to change something, you got to become aware of what you want to change. Want to change. So spend some time today becoming aware.

Robert Plank 24:06 Is there anything that comes to mind for you recently that that you've become aware of? Yes,

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 24:12 I became aware of the fact that there are still people that think it's more important to do the productive things instead of the mind things. Mindset is the most important thing, always. And foremost, mindset, first, productive second. And I was reminded of that again today,

Robert Plank 24:34 and like so what does that mean exactly? Can you give me an example? What that

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 24:38 means is, in the morning, when I wake up, first thing I do is say a prayer, Lord, thank you for another day to become the person you see in me. I love my life. Thank you for another day. And then I start in my mind going through how my day is going to move, how my day is going to flow, how I'm going to move through traffic, if I'm driving, or how my computer's going to work. Carefully. You know, when it comes time to click the Zoom link and get on or, you know, my PowerPoint, whatever, so I plan it in my mind first, so that then I can go live it. I am a creator here first, then out here, second. So do you want to be interesting?

Robert Plank 25:17 So it's, it's using your imagination for good instead of for bad. It's easy to imagine all the things that could go wrong, but you're saying here's here's the way that my day is going to be fantastic, and here are the things I'm looking forward to going very well this coming day. Yeah,

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 25:33 so often people go to the What If. And I always tell my clients, if you're going to the what if or the negative, you've got to go to the what if for the positive, because you've got to balance it. But too many people go to the negative, what if, and they never even look at the positive. What if that will kill dreams faster than anything,

Robert Plank 25:53 a very important reminder, look for the positive. What if, because the negative, what if that's the that's easy, that's that's built in, that will come automatically, but make make that tiny bit of extra mental effort to consider the positive, what if and so what? What's the next step here? If people want to know more about you and your your speaking and your training and your website and things that you're doing, how can people get in touch with you? And what's the next step here?

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 26:17 So the beautiful thing is, my name is very unique. I am the only Cisco math on social media. Not very many people can say that, and so jump on. I'm on Facebook, I'm on LinkedIn, and I would love to connect. And if you let me know that you heard me on Robert's video or Zoom whatever you know your podcast, let me know, and I'll give you a free mentoring session. And usually that's $297 that's a pretty good gift. And we'll spend some time getting to know where you're at and where you need to go, and I'll help you get there. So reach out to me.

Robert Plank 26:52 Jeannie Cisco myth on social media and the podcast is the marketer of the day podcast, or if that's too long for people to remember Robert plank, and they'll you'll make the connection. Remember me, right? Yes, absolutely okay. And so, So Jeannie Cisco, meth. Find her anywhere that you can. Find her on her website, find her on on LinkedIn, Facebook, all those places and it so that way you can get maybe someone of a daily dose of positivity and mindset and maybe a little productivity in there too, and and figure out what you need to know. Because we've, we've been mentioning so many times in our conversation here about how easy it is to get stuck in that the echo chamber and the thought bubble and just stuck in your own head. And you don't need that. You need help of other people, and you need to help other people. And the the way to get on the right track for that is to continue the path that we're on and find Jeannie Cisco meth, contact her, tell her you heard about her here and that you would like to claim that pre coaching session. So contact Jeannie Cisco meth on social media. Anything, any final thoughts to say to kind of wrap up our conversation as we wind down here, Jeannie,

Jeanie Cisco-Meth 28:03 stop listening to your inner critic and start coaching yourself more so you can go where you want to go. All right.