221: Escape from Anxiety, De-Stress and Supercharge Your Life with Peggy Sealfon

Robert Plank 0:00 Robert Plank Show, episode 221, escape from anxiety, de stress, and supercharge your life with Peggy sealfon. Hey everyone, and welcome back to the Robert Plank show, the Internet Marketing Podcast, where we talk about making money. And our guest is Peggy Silvan, and she's a personal development coach. She's a motivational speaker, and she is internationally known as an expert in overcoming stress and anxiety. Her best selling book is called Escape from anxiety. Super Charge your life with powerful strategies from A to Z. Peggy, welcome to the program.

Peggy Sealfon 0:34 Thank you, Robert. It's a joy to be here with you. I'm

Robert Plank 0:37 glad to be here with you as well. And so you know, if someone is, if someone is listening to today's program and they're saying, you know, I don't know, like, I'm just, I'm just a marketer. I'm just making my websites. I'm just, you know, sitting at home on my computer, what do I have to to think about, as far as you know, stress and breaking my patterns and all that? I mean, what would you say to someone who, maybe they, maybe they're, they're just barely uncomfortable or not uncomfortable. And what would you tell someone who if they think that that today's program isn't for them, what would you say to them to let them know that today is exactly what they need to be hearing right now? So

Peggy Sealfon 1:13 I'm not sure I know anyone on the face of the earth who isn't facing some sort of challenge at one time or another, and if you're sitting in front of a computer trying to work out a program or develop a website or whatever it is, there's still going to be aspects of that experience that are going to be frustrating or a little bit more difficult than you imagined. And just sometimes getting through those periods, if you have certain tools and techniques to help you with that. It can make a huge difference in allowing you to kind of hang on to your energy, because so often, especially working at computers, which I tend to do a bit myself, it's very fragmenting, and we tend to really get tired very quickly, because it's really sapping your energies. So it's really important to pay attention, because there's lots of opportunities to really change that and to be more creative, more energized, more vital, and really feel great.

Robert Plank 2:10 And I think that I can relate to that. I think that a lot of us can relate to that, that, you know, sometimes we sometimes we almost like, like, force ourselves to go at the computer, or don't really know, like, what's the point of it? Or I can definitely relate to those times when I'm not careful, when I might sit at the computer and be sitting at the computer for like an hour or two, and I realized, well, geez. Like, I was excited when I got here, and I kind of got distracted by this, distracted by that. And sometimes I kind of leave the computer feeling like, Well, geez. Like I feel sometimes, somehow I feel tired, even though I didn't really do much, right? I just sat there. Somehow that drained my energy, and I don't really have much to show for and so, I mean, so what is it that you do? Exactly like, do you, do you work with clients? Do, I mean, so like, what's your, what's sort of your magic potion to to get people to to be who they need to be. I've

Peggy Sealfon 3:04 developed an integrated life plan which allows you to balance all the different aspects in your life in a way that allows you to really enter into your greatness, so to really, truly be all that you are. There's always one aspect of our life that isn't quite working as well as another. If our relationships are working really well, oftentimes work suffers, or vice versa, or health. And so it's really about bringing all of that into balance and being mindful about it. Really being in your life so often, and especially when we're in this path of finding success and achieving we tend to lose sight of what is in the moment, and we're too busy deferring to some future point that well, when I finish that project, or when I get that $5 million bonus, then I'll be happy instead of really being in that space. So that's what I teach. I teach people from all different walks of life who are dealing with all different kinds of issues, from mental issues to health issues to just life purpose issues. And I help them bring their lives into focus in a way that's really productive, and they feel phenomenal. It transforms them awesome.

Robert Plank 4:15 And so this problem that you're mentioning where you know maybe if people aren't quite living in the present moment. And they're saying, you know, I'll be happy after x, and then never quite being happy. I mean, do you do you see this happening with everyone? Or is there, like a is there like a number one, like universal struggle that everyone is is sort of dealing with that? You come across

Peggy Sealfon 4:36 honestly. Robert, I think culturally, we have been indoctrinated into believing that we need more. We have to have a bigger house, a bigger car, or maybe multiple cars, and if we have a huge bank account, then we're going to really be okay, and we'll feel certain that our lives are full instead of really paying attention to priority. Things that are truly important, such as one's health, because oftentimes on that road, to quote, success, however, that shows up for you, you compromise your own health and well being, and you're really not paying attention. And that's what I see a lot, and it's more about our culture and the way society has basically communicated belief systems to us that aren't true and we're missing out. We're missing ourselves. We're missing our really bigger potentials and an effortlessness. I feel too many people, and a lot of the clients I work with are suffering or they're just not happy. I have a young couple I'm working with. They have everything you could want in their in their lives. They have a five year old little daughter. They have great jobs, beautiful home, live in a beautiful area. They're not happy. Something's missing. What is it? They've been focused outward, instead of really understanding and cultivating the gratitude, the opportunities that they're having to really be engaged in all of the things that they have, instead of just viewing them as objects or things that are external. That makes sense, too.

Robert Plank 6:09 Yeah. I mean, it does make a lot of sense. And I think that that we all know people like that, and some of us listening might even be people like that, where, like, it's almost like a, like, a hollow victory, right? And like, some people, like, have built up so much stuff, or, you know, look, it all looks good on paper, or it all looks good on the outside, but then, then it's like, they're, it's like, uh, there's, there's nothing on the inside, right? Like they,

Peggy Sealfon 6:31 and oftentimes they're living for others. So they're, they've fallen into this mindset of the shoulds or woods or things their parents put on them, or their teachers, oh, you should do this instead of really following their passion, following their bliss, being tuned into who they truly are. I think we lose that sometimes, and a lot of millennials in particular, I find are really struggling to connect to their power center and who they really are. So

Robert Plank 7:01 so that that power center, what is that exactly?

Peggy Sealfon 7:06 That is that place where mind, body, heart and spirit, where you're really in that integrated state of being, where instead of struggling or suffering or fighting or resisting, you actually let things happen and not that you're not making choices and decisions along the way, and not that you're not mindful about the things that are around you and your environment, but it is a far more effortless place where you really cultivate this internal energy, universal, cosmic, divine forces, however You want to think about it. It's not a religious aspect, obviously, but it's it's more that, you know, we really are energy. That's what we're made up of. And we're in this energetic field that we're part of, and some of us cultivate these energies that are stories, that are just stories, they're not even real, but we cling on to them because they've become a belief system. So when you start crashing through those stories and letting those go, you find that power center, you find that light of who you truly are, and when that happens, you truly are empowered. And again, there are techniques and tools and that's a lot of what I teach. In fact, I'll give you a free three minute audio that I like to offer to listeners that can help you cultivate that place, because it's really about getting out of the ego mind and quieting thoughts. So I have a free audio that you can download onto your phone. Listen to it every day, several times a day, and it's at three minutes to distress.com and that's the numeral three, and just by listening to that for three minutes, literally carving three minutes out of your hectic, crazy, overwhelming day, it calms body and mind to a place where you're more integrated, where you feel more connected, where you see solutions rather than problems or challenges, awesome.

Robert Plank 9:03 And so the three minute thing that you're describing is this sort of like a guided meditation or instructions or like, what is it exactly? And how the heck can all that be done in just three minutes? It

Peggy Sealfon 9:16 is a guided meditation. For a lot of corporate clients who I work with, I actually call it a productivity pause. And here's what happens. We get into certain default mechanisms when we're stressed and working hard to finish something and we're focused on it, and we lose track of time. But we're pushing, pushing, pushing. We are in a certain mindset where thoughts are taking over, and we're not aware of what our body's feeling the fact that we might need a break, we might need to stand up, we might need to walk around the block, but this three minutes to distress actually acts as an interrupter to bring that body into a calmer state. It really quiets the nervous system and again, to integrate. Mind into the energy body, so that you have more power, so that you are more aware of everything that's going on in, within and without, awesome.

Robert Plank 10:11 And I think that, you know, like this whole, this whole sort of idea of, you know, being present or being aware, or kind of slowing things down. I mean, to be honest, I didn't even realize this was something that was important until maybe even, like, you know, a few years ago, maybe, like, five years ago, right? Like, I always thought that, okay, I just gotta, like, rush, rush, rush, and I gotta have more things on the plate and have more projects and do more things. And I think that, you know, I think that we can all relate to kind of getting that point where we get burnt out, or spinning our wheels, or were, we're switching our gears quite a bit, and it was a huge just breakthrough for me that, you know, like, I need to break up the day. I need to, you know, go, go for a walk around the block, like you said. Or I just need to, or that, you know, I can be, I can be focused, and I can be energetic, but also kind of, kind of calm and centered at the same time. And so, I mean, um, so, you know, it's great. It's great to say, like, you know, like some people are stressed and they need to, like, you know, have this guided meditation and do all these things. And so, I mean, what, what sort of like, daily activities like the guided meditation, like the walking around, like, what kind of action should we be taking to kind of get to this better place.

Peggy Sealfon 11:23 Those would be great. And I have to share with you the fact that that's where I came from. I came from this place of do more, take on more, add a million different projects, and then I would be so excited doing all these projects, but it would exhaust me. And then I would crash and burn. And I kept running into that cycle. And I thought, Wait, something's wrong with this. Is this how my life is going to look? I'm going to have these huge ups, and then I'm going to have these incredible crashes and be flat on my back with the flu or have a motorcycle accident. So I began to learn that there's a place in the center which is full of adventure and awesomeness without that heightened stress or that crashing and burning. And it's challenging sometimes for the average person who hasn't done any practice like this to incorporate it into their life. I have a lot of clients who come to me and they say, you know, I don't have time to do that. And honestly, someone who says that needs it more than anyone, because you need time outs. We need sleep. We know the human body needs to rest and restore and it needs it at different points throughout the day. In fact, in the neurosciences, they're showing now that every two hours would actually be beneficial to inject a one minute, five minute, 10 minute break and just get up and stretch or yawn or take a little jog. I actually have a rebounder that I love to use, and I use that for my breaks, and I actually wear one of these smart watches now that tells me time to get moving, because I'll get caught up in projects and I lose track of time, and it reminds me, time to move, time to meditate, time to take a time out.

Robert Plank 13:09 Awesome. And so, so, so, you know, how have those breaks, especially, and have those breaks, you know, two hours, one in 10 minutes. And so, I mean, what? So, what sort of I mean, how have things like, improved for you? Like, I mean, you said that you used to be sort of like, you know, like, super high stress, and more and more and, I mean, sort of like, what happened, like, how, like, what happened at that point when, when you knew that something had to change? Like, where were you at and what was happening to you?

Peggy Sealfon 13:37 I was, I was getting sick all the time, and I was really tired of being sick, and I was tired of being tired, and I was always excited about being on that upswing and being creative and productive, but then I didn't understand why I would have all of these fallouts, and I had a lot of physical manifestations. I had a slip disc in my neck. I had back problems, my back would go out, and I literally would be flat on my back. And honestly, these physical manifestations are signals that you are out of balance. It's not that you have a malfunction in your neck that needs to be surgically repaired, although that could, of course, be something, but usually it's your body signaling you, hey, remember me. Take a time out. Take some time for yourself to nurture yourself. Take a nice shower with some nice essential oils or a warm bath. Get some really good exercise that allows you to feel engaged and activated. Take a walk in nature, where you can really be part of that energetic force that the human body needs to be more balanced. So all of these things can contribute to bringing you back to that homeostatic state, that state of balance, that. Is so important to optimize what we have to offer and who we each are, and when we do that, we can contribute so much more to the world that we live in, just within our own sphere of influence and beyond

Robert Plank 15:13 awesome. So I'm hearing a lot of like, it sounds like what we're all kind of missing is that that self care. It's almost like, where we tell ourselves that, like, I can, you know, push myself. I can do that all nighter. And it sounds like, well, if we, you know, take the breaks exercise, take those walks in nature and stuff like that, then we'll just, we'll avoid all that, that burnout on all that stuff that maybe sneaks up on us. It sounds absolutely it's

Peggy Sealfon 15:38 about balance. And another area that I'm trained in. I have a degree in functional nutrition, and that's another huge area, because people don't realize you are what you eat, and if you are not eating healthfully and mindfully and taking time to eat, if you're eating on the run, in your car or at your desk, that's really not very helpful. And I know we have busy schedules, but it's really important to prioritize what's important for your well being, so that you can do more and contribute more. Because if you don't take the time for these really essential elements, you will crash and burn, you will get sick, you will not be able to perform well. You will not think clearly. Nutrition is so important for brain health. We're learning more and more about gut health and how that impacts the brain. And for so long, we were being fed these non fat diets, and then we found out, guess what? The brain needs fats, and healthy fats like coconut oils and olive oil. So we've learned so much more scientifically, but it also dovetails was with what we've learned through Eastern philosophies. And so bringing those together is part of what I do, awesome.

Robert Plank 16:47 So you connect it all together. And I know that you've, you've mentioned a few times that like, so there's like, some of this, almost like spiritual side of things, and not quite religious, but kind of just like a sort of an abstract kind of thing. And I used to be really resistant to that kind of stuff. But then again, the last few years, I thought to myself, well, you know, what have I got to lose by actually giving this a shot or trying some of this stuff? And I mean, if it's been proven in work for 1000s of years, then, then all I have to do is, kind of, you know, if I, if I hear about such and such meditation or such and such mental exercise. I mean, I might as well go for it a few times. And if that's, if that's one of those things in the library that works for me, then then why not repeat it? And so some of the things that I've heard from you so far is that what we need, it's like all about that, that self care and we need to exercise and take time to eat. And what kind of springs to my mind is there's, have you heard of that saying that something like, like, everyone should meditate for 30 minutes a day, or, if you're busy, meditate for an hour,

Peggy Sealfon 17:51 right? Absolutely, that's what I'm saying. If you don't have time to take a time out, then you need it more than ever. It's really important. And the thing is, too that when you start doing this practice of even just a few minutes a day, just to start and just to introduce it to your system, but the more you do it, the more you start craving it, because it really feels good, it's so relaxing, it's empowering. And as you use it more and more, it becomes more and more available to you, so that when you hit a point of crisis or some really huge challenge. Now you have some tools and techniques that you've experimented with, that you've cultivated for yourself, and now you can use them even more impactfully. I'll tell you a really quick story. I play competitive tennis, and I was in a match of doubles, and our opponent suddenly started waving their arms and indicating that they had to stop. And one of the opponents turned white as a ghost, and she said, I think I'm having a heart attack. I need to sit down. And I sat down with her, as they called 911, and I said, do me a favor. Just do this breathing technique with me, and it's one of the techniques that's on that three minutes to de stress. Audio, well, literally, within two minutes, the color restored in her face. She looked up at me and she said, You know, I feel absolutely fine. Let's go finish the match. And that's how quickly these methods can work, but it's a matter of remembering to use them and having them available to you, and that's why I really encourage people to download the audio. Experiment with it, use it repeatedly. Get into a habit. What happens so often is we default to these destructive habits, staying up too late, not getting enough sleep, eating the wrong foods, and we get into a pattern of that where, especially if we're eating the wrong foods, sugar, I don't know, I'm sure you've been reading all the literature, it's eight times more addictive than cocaine, and it really dupes our taste buds. It's really unhealthy for us, and it's in everything. So starting to eliminate. Eight sugar takes some vigilance and some awareness. And when you do, it's amazing. The experience of eating foods changes because your taste buds now get so much more able to really discern taste amazing

Robert Plank 20:15 and so and a lot of what I'm what I'm hearing from you today is that, you know, it sounds like a lot of the secrets of what it is that you've done and you've helped people and you teach, it sounds like a lot of it's just little, tiny baby steps like, you know, to redo a habit. It sounds like, you know, you're saying, don't cut out all sugar. But, you know, start to, kind of to, kind of take it out. You're not saying to meditate all the time, but just start with the little three minute audio. So, I mean, is that sort of on the right track, that people shouldn't necessarily do anything super drastic, just kind of dip your toe in the water and figure out what works for you and keep doing more of that. So

Peggy Sealfon 20:53 I think you've hit the nail on the head. I think for people who have not looked at any of these elements and feel really out of balance. Yes, just start by taking a small step nutritionally. It may be just introducing a salad into one meal a day that adds some greens and some healthier nutrients and and it may be yes, just meditating in the morning before you get out of bed. Take 10 minutes in the past meditation and still is something that you devoted 30 minutes to every morning, every evening. The ancient yogis would spend hours doing it. And clearly there is greater benefit. There's lots of psychological, physiological changes that occur, but again, more recently, what we're learning with brain plasticity and the neurosciences is that literally, just taking a few minutes every morning or several times throughout the day, can begin to create new neural pathways that are more productive and that interrupt old patterns that might be patterns of stress, patterns of anxiety, they may be old traumas that are time to really let go of. They're the old stories and begin to embrace a new path and something that's really more in alignment with who you truly are,

Robert Plank 22:18 awesome, and that whole thing of you know, doing it a few minutes a day throughout the day, sounds perfect for today's culture of the texting and the apps and the tweeting and all that stuff. And so you definitely have my curiosity going, and I'm flipping through the table of contents of your escape from anxiety book and and it looks like, it looks like there's like this whole, this whole range of, like, little things people can can do in their life to to add up to a lot, like, you know, hydrate more, and, you know, meditate, and there's a thing about, like, sleep and all that. So could you tell us about about this book, and when people grab this book, What It can help do for them?

Peggy Sealfon 22:57 So the book was put together based on all the different trainings that I've had, which is quite a broad range of different elements that really contribute to human development. So what I did was create this book for clients, and now the reach has gone way beyond, actually all over the world, of over 100 strategies that are organized from A to Z, literally, you can open to any letter of the alphabet. You don't have to read the book chronologically. You can just open a page if you're feeling anxious or stressed and choose one thing to do, and by doing that one thing, it interrupts that pattern for that moment, and you will feel better. And the second part of the book, I delve deeper into how to create a more sustainable resolution. If you have anxiety. 40 million people in the United States suffer anxiety, this would be a great opportunity to have skills and tools available to you that really help you cultivate a way of transcending through that awesome

Robert Plank 24:00 and I like the way that that you're, you're explaining a lot of this as like tools. So like, it might be that, you know, if we're, we're having a really difficult time, and, you know, we need this. We can go and figure out what works for us, and then the next time that this kind of crisis hits, we can use it again. But even it sounds like, even if everything is hunky dory for everyone, and people just want to have like, you know, have these tools for later, or, you know, use it to to get motivated again, and not necessarily for any extreme. I mean, am I kind of on the right track? That this can kind of work in both ways, if they absolutely worry, if it's just to keep things going good and

Peggy Sealfon 24:39 even going better, because we're always in a state of improving ourselves, biologically, psychologically, that's just our human nature. We're always working to change and get better. And so yes, the book can certainly contribute to helping people get better. And also, if people are in crisis, or if things are happening. And if someone really has issues that they'd like my personal help. I That's exactly what I do. I'm a personal development coach, a life coach, and I help create customized protocols for whatever someone might be going through. So I work with people with relationship issues, with health issues. I've worked with cancer patients, heart disease patients, where they've really transformed through many of the methods that I've made available to them and trained them in so that they could recover and enter back into that balance, that integrated state of being, which really puts you in the zone. It puts you in this amazing place where you actually expand your personal capacity. It's quite remarkable and exciting. I worked with a young man who suffered from PTSD. He was actually held up at gunpoint in his own restaurant, and so I put a protocol together for him and trained him, and it coached him through it, and it was amazing how dramatically that changed his life experiences. He had a wife and two young children, and just recently, I got a note from his wife saying how it has completely changed their lives, and she's just so grateful to have had this approach, because all the other approaches were medication or therapies that were going to take years and years, and this is much quicker when you kind of go to the source and develop these techniques in ways that just really help reinforce who you are.

Robert Plank 26:39 This is all really great stuff, and I think that that makes a lot of sense as far as, like, you know, don't dance around the issue, just actually treat the problem at its root cause. And so could you tell us about where we can all grab the book and where people can sign up for that personal coaching, as well as any other websites you want us to know about?

Peggy Sealfon 26:59 Sure, thank you. The book is escape from anxiety. It's available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble at some Barnes and Noble bookstores as well. It's also available at escape from anxiety.com and@peggyseal.com you can have access to many videos, free programs that I offer, as well as you'll get a little star here, notification of how to sort of follow through the website to find what might be most beneficial for you. So that would be a good place to start, and through peggyseal fund.com anybody who would like personal coaching, or just wants to have maybe a 15 minute consultation, just to see if this would be right for them, that information is on the website,

Robert Plank 27:50 perfect, and just so to make sure that everyone who's listening, because some people might be just, you know, listening on the on their phone, and not necessarily On the website. The way to spell peggysilfon.com is P, E, G, G, y, s, e, a, l, F, o, n.com, peggysilfon.com and escape from anxiety.com, so I really appreciate you being on the program today, Peggy and I mean, like you said, this is the kind of situation where you know, every human being alive right now needs help with this. Every human being that's ever existed needs help with this. And it really doesn't make a lot of sense for people to be burnt out or stressed out about any sort of, you know, relationships, money, whatever, in the coming years. Because, I mean, you're not going to get those years back. You might as well enjoy, be happy, be fulfilled, be your best self, all that great stuff, and so escape from anxiety.com and peggysilfon.com and thanks so much Peggy for stopping by and sharing what you had to share with us.

Peggy Sealfon 28:48 Oh, thank you, Robert. It's been a joy to be here. And I'll just leave you with one last thought, and that is that happiness is an inside job.

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