1397: From Domestic Violence Survivor to Social Entrepreneur: Transformative Journey of Empowerment, Advocacy, and Resilience with Award-Winning Documentarian and Entrepreneur Sola Adenekan

Robert Plank 0:00 She has lived in Mexico. She owned a bar, she survived domestic violence, and she now uses media to drive real legislative chains. It's Sharla adedikin, and she is an award winning filmmaker. She's a social entrepreneur, rewriting the rules of advocacy, justice and business. This is marketer of the day with the host, Robert Plank, brought to you by D FY podcast.com where your content becomes your most powerful platform for social impact and authority. And we're going to talk about the social impact that Miss Sharla has made on the world. She's worked across politics, media, entrepreneurship, she's caused real change, and we can learn a heck of a lot from her about standing up for what's right, making the time, putting in the effort, and so much more. So Miss Charlotte, glad to see you.

Sola Adenekan 0:52 Thank you for having me, Robert. It's a pleasure to be here.

Robert Plank 0:55 Happy to have you. So in that introduction, we just gave what did we leave out? What's your current focus and passion?

Sola Adenekan 1:04 Oh, I don't think you've left out anything right now, I'm currently concentrating on my social enterprise, messianes body care, a company I formed to empower domestic violence survivors and women in entrepreneur prism, and I am really excited to drive change actually through this company, and I've been able to channel that into legislative policy that I'm currently working on with A state senator in New Jersey.

Robert Plank 1:42 And my understanding is you're a commissioner of some type as well, right?

Sola Adenekan 1:45 Yes, that is correct. I am currently serving on the Housing Authority Board in Red Bank New Jersey, and I was appointed by Governor Murphy in 2023

Robert Plank 2:01 and so Housing Commission, or housing authority Commissioner, what is that?

Sola Adenekan 2:06 Yes. So what we do as a board, as a housing commission nurse, I guess, we manage our public housing units and our affordable housing units. We also help to implement policies. You know, for our housing authority, we also award developer contracts to as well. All you know, all mandated by the state of New Jersey and through HUD.

Robert Plank 2:41 Okay, so there's so much that has to happen in the world, right? To make the world go round, to make the trains run on time, and we take it for granted, right? You have your your city council members, you have your school board members, you have your your housing authority people. And it's great that you're involved, and we all need to be more involved, right? There's only so many years in the life, only so many hours in the day. It's so tempting and easy to scroll social media and watch TV, but heck, we need to make a difference in the world and to get give us an understanding of who you are and what you're about, where you come from, like you have this, this sort of domestic violence survival issue. So are you comfortable telling us what happened, or this, like, what's, you know, what's the what started this whole cause?

Sola Adenekan 3:25 Oh, yeah, definitely. Well, you know, I've always been for me, service has always been a big theme in my life. I from the age of 13, I had been involved in my community in high school and beyond. So I was always, always driven to really help other people and to empower those who are voiceless. Myself. I have survived domestic violence. It is something that it is an issue that is almost taboo in the American society to talk about, even though we do see some very famous cases, like currently, the Diddy trial that's happening right now, really brings to forefront the issue of domestic violence. You know, there's some very scary statistics out there too, as well. I decided to really focus my time on this, not just also based on my personal experience, but also the experiences of close friends of mine. I started Missy, honest body care to really empower not just myself but other domestic violence survivors. I mean, the statistic goes that every single day, almost 60% of all daily arrests in this country are domestic violence related charges, including homicide. It is a scary statistic, and it's happening every day, and we. Need to address this, I started writing a housing policy in New Jersey to create a path to home ownership for domestic violence survivors with one of our state senators, Senator Gopal. The reason why I decided to really focus on this is because under the violence against women's Act. There are a lot of federal dollars allocated towards the emergency so funding shelters, the crisis hotlines, but there are literally $0 federal dollars allocated towards victims and survivors rebuilding their assets. Oftentimes, survivors leave with nothing, and they are forced to rebuild their lives, but to start from scratch with nothing is a monumental task, right? This? The other crazy statistic is that 86% of all single mothers who've experienced domestic violence will at some point become homeless in her lifetime. And it's again, you know, you are starting from scratch. You don't have a foundation, a financial foundation. And you know, a lot of the reasons why we see women or women and men go back to these toxic situations is also because of economics. So providing a providing a policy solution that could address this is of paramount importance to me, just not only from my personal experience, but you know, just looking at the statistics, looking at the holistic picture of what it means to recover from domestic violence,

Robert Plank 6:49 oh yes, and it's good to get this sort of awareness, because the law and the police and the courts, they can only do so much right. You have to have that sort of community activism and just knowing what happens, and it sounds extremely scary, right, that you you're homeless, and it's worse than homeless because you're homeless, plus you have have a kid or multiple kids homeless with you, and going back to that abuse, I mean, it just, it's unimaginable. It's really bad. And so as far as your own journey, so like, how, what was rebuilding your life like, like? I'm sure it would have been better, easier, if there was additional support. But as far as your journey upward, did it take months? Did it take years? Did you learn something along the way? How was the upward climb?

Sola Adenekan 7:33 Yes, thank you for asking me that it has definitely been years. Years long journey, initially escaping leaving, really, it took a lot of mental fortitude to decide to leave, and honestly, being a filmmaker helped a lot with that transition out, I was able to focus on on other projects as I was leaving, but financially, it was extremely difficult. I feel like and I'm not. I'm I am an anomaly, because, you know, I do have a community of resources, right? I have because I've been an activist, so to speak, where I've been involved through my filmmaking, in helping to shed light on social issues, I've built up, you know, community of supporters, and so when I initially had left, there were 100 people that came into my orbit that provided me with funding for legal fees and to stay at hotels and to leave, and not many people Have those resources to do that, and it really, it really changed my perspective a lot on domestic violence, on victims, why people decide to stay, especially when you don't have those resources. To me, entrepreneurism for me was my escape, to be able to gain my independence back, and it has been a journey. I have a son who's autistic, and so that adds a whole other element to the story too, as well, and learning to navigate through family court, dealing with and then just dealing with post separation issues, had really, again, really provided me, personally, as a government official, with the perspective of what you know a lot of people go. Through every day. It has not been an easy journey, but I will say that having a community of supporters has helped to make my life a lot easier in transitioning to independence. But I will say starting the body care company and opening up the brick and mortar that I do have, and I have opened up a location on the West Coast, and I'm looking to expand back home on the East Coast, really took a leap of faith, and it took literally my last, my last few $1,000 to get the brick and mortar off the ground, and it's been an amazing journey. Connecting with other entrepreneurs who are domestic violence survivors, having their CPG brands in the in the brick and mortar has just been inspiring to me to keep going on the path of independence for myself and my son.

Robert Plank 11:01 Very cool. Well, you're doing your best to turn a bad and do a good, aren't you? You're saying, you're saying, Well, I'm I'm jumping into entrepreneurship, opening the brick and mortar store. And for those following along at home, if you want to check out this brick and mortar store, us, we're still talking. That's michiones. Body Care, M, I, S, I, O, N, E, S body care.com, and it looks like they have Shea and body butter, hands and feet balm, body oils, lip balm. So if you were to explain in a sentence or two, like, what this store is all about, what type of store it is, what would you say?

Sola Adenekan 11:38 Oh, yes, so missium is the general market, which is a brand extension of Messianic body care, carries not just messianic body care my brand, but also other CPG brands that are founded by domestic violence survivors. I really wanted to create a commerce platform for entrepreneurs who have survived domestic violence and who are actively exploring that pathway to economic independence. And you know, every time people walk in the brick and mortar, they're always blown away by the brands that I have in the store and their story, like one of whom my friend Caroline, who is literally from Ireland, who created this, this shortbread cookie brand that everyone loves in my brick and mortar. She's also a survivor too, as well. And we are going to be teaming up together to um to launch campaigns around empowering other domestic violence survivors who are entrepreneurs too, as well.

Robert Plank 12:54 Very cool. You're onto something. And so if you say that the the brick and mortar store is on the west coast. If someone happens to be in that area, where is it? How do they find it?

Sola Adenekan 13:05 Yes. So we are in Cannon Beach. We we are in Cannon Beach and located at a campground called the retreat at Cannon Beach. It is, it is very it's a 12 acre piece of property, and we have, you know, it's a very popular destination, especially in the summer time. And the reason why I chose to focus on like a tourist destination spot is because domestic violence victims feel comfortable reaching out to someone in the public and already at my store, I've actually already helped a victim escape and find housing through a Housing Authority in the county where she wanted to escape to already, already, I have exchanged stories with other survivors who've walked into the store and having seen the brands and heard the stories of the women who have survived and who are Making these amazing products. You know survivors who feel comfortable opening up about their journey. I have met so many of them at the at this brick and mortar location. So in the future, I'm planning to expand to other high foot traffic destination spots, like airports, other campgrounds too, as well and other touristy areas, because, as I mentioned before, domestic violence, victims and survivors feel comfortable sharing their stories and reaching out in a more public setting.

Robert Plank 14:57 Well, it's great that you. You've established this, and I'm looking at Cannon Beach on a map. It's on the coast in Oregon. Is there an easy way to describe just like, I mean, would you say it's like, north west of Salem, or west of Portland? Or like, how could we easily describe like, Okay, I'm sort of in that area, but how do I get there?

Sola Adenekan 15:19 Yes, so Cannon Beach is it's on the northern part of the Oregon coast. It's an hour and a half west of Portland. So if you ever wanted to, we get a lot of visitors from all over the world. Actually, we've had people from Germany, from the Netherlands, locally, we also have had people from as far away in the US as Florida who have found their way over here. Our claim well cannon beaches claim to fame is that the movie Goonies was filmed here and in the neighboring town Astoria, and then also Kindergarten Cop was also filmed here. And I know that there are other films that have been filmed here, because there's a famous monolith on the beach called Haystack Rock. And so it's if you Google Haystack Rock, everyone will have remembered seeing that in the Goonies, or in Kindergarten Cop, or, you know, just, it's just a famous monolith in the US.

Robert Plank 16:28 Oh, yeah, I It's been decades since I've seen a Kindergarten Cop, but it's like, it gives me flashbacks, right? It's iconic. And so, like you mentioned about, there's, like, see, there's this campground, and it has me curious. Like, okay, say that there is like, a, like, a battered woman out there who says, Okay, I've had enough. I'm ready to leave. But it's it scares you, right? Do I go and, like, go find a homeless shelter? Do I live under a bridge? Do I go hide out in the campground because it's off the grid? Like, what advice would you have to someone in those first day or two, as far as like, finding safety, finding shelter, where should they go?

Sola Adenekan 17:03 Yes, well, when I initially left, a lot of cities, even small towns, have some resources, like have an advocacy organization that you can reach out to, physically, that you can go to. They will usually help you either fill out paperwork if you need to file a restraining order, they will help you find access to a shelter. Sometimes, depending on the state or the city that you're in, they may have the resources to put you up in a hotel to, you know, for the night or for a couple of nights too, as well. That is something that a lot of victims need to know, is that there are some resources out there for the short term the emergency. There are also organizations like break the silence against domestic violence that have programs like grants of code, where they will give you, they will give you a one time grant to get you into an apartment, for instance, for your deposit or for your first month at two as well. These are, these are resources that I feel survivors need to know about. And if you're looking to get out I would say Google resources. You know, just Google domestic violence resources in your your area, and you'll see all that out there too, as well. Also there are domestic violence shelters, oftentimes, though, though those are often full. So, you know, I mean, again, it depends on where you are, and this is something that I am very distressed about, because there are very limited resources out there in terms of federal dollars allocated towards like shelters, and the need is just so much greater than the resources that are out there. I would also tell survivors to build a circle of community that truly support you, where you can, you know, if an emergency happens, you can actually go to a friend's house and actually stay there kind of semi long term, because you're not going to be able to think clearly. You just you just aren't that's just not how the brain operates when you're going through trauma. And you know, I also feel like a lot of a lot of cities should offer resources where there are organizations that will sit down with you and fill out paperwork, because when you're going. Through the immediate trauma, you're not your brain is not able to process filling out complicated paperwork to describe what happened to you, where you might need to go for housing, what other resources you might need to tap into. What I do love in my state in New Jersey is that in Monmouth County, where I am from, in Red Bank, we have a new a new organization that's set up called Monmouth County act, where you can call the number and someone will actually sit down with you over the phone and fill out whatever paperwork that you need in order to leave a domestic violence situation, and those are critical resources that survivors need when you're in the initial 24 hours, when you are out to as well, also you want to make a safety plan, because it depends on The type of situation that you are leaving from to as well. So I can't stress that, enough, enough, enough.

Robert Plank 21:10 Okay, a lot to think about, right? It's scary, but it's important in any crisis situation, domestic violence or not, to have a plan of some kind, right? I can't just do something emotionally, impulsively. You have to say, hey, if I'm leaving the house, taking the kids, taking the stuff with me, where am I going? Where will I sleep? Where will I eat? And you're saying that it's important. If you happen to be in Monmouth County, New Jersey, there's this Monmouth acts. But in any city that you're in, you search domestic violence resources, and then the town or the city that you're in. And also it's worth just even trying domestic violence shelter, and they might be full, but heck, they might have space for you, or they might be able to refer you or just help you out. And it seems like there's strength in numbers, right? You don't have to go it alone. You have the circle. You have these friends, you can't get out of that situation. You can get this problem solved, and it's good to have this awareness about it. And speaking of awareness, we only have a few minutes left in our conversation, but I want to make sure that we can talk about the documentaries, right? Because it's my understanding that you had a documentary come out called whistleblowers, and I think you have a new one coming up, but tell me about this filmmaking.

Sola Adenekan 22:23 Yes. So hold on one second, yes. So a few years ago, I jumped into filmmaking. I've always been fascinated by social issues. I've also been fascinated by great storytelling. So back in 2018 my film partner, Mike reichenberg and I, we completed a film called whistleblowers, which which goes through the entire journey of seven government whistleblowers in the state of New York, one of whom was the first and only person to win a retaliation lawsuit against the government in New York State. And we ended up winning the Human Rights pillar award for film from the National whistleblowers Foundation, which was amazing. I mean, it was kind of surreal to be honest with you, because not only did we share the award for film and human rights, for human rights, we also shared the Human Rights color award with James Comey, the former FBI director, and a number of other high profile luminaries. So we were deeply honored to that our work was like it was acknowledged in that way too as well we right now our film is not quite out there yet, on, you know, global platforms, but we will be figuring out our next path in terms of distribution of the film. We've also been shooting a documentary series on examining very famous police brutality cases, we'll say, such as the Philando Castile case in Minnesota, for instance, and the Eric Garner case, and several well known cases that have permeated our consciousness, I will say, in the last few years, but really going from a 360 angle, where we have the police officer, We have the victim, we have we have the prosecutor, we have members of the jury, the if that case had gone to trial for against the police officer. So we really have been focusing on, like a 360 view of that, and had been in talks with HBO and picking up the series to. You as well from us and we also had been filming, have been filming an immigration series looking at the story, the intersection of why people choose to migrate, international conflicts, and also the stories as well, just the human stories. And it's been a fascinating journey on those documentaries. The last project, well, there's two other projects that we're also working on. We're also filming a documentary on the first and only non US civilian to be awarded a Purple Heart. Yes, you heard that, right. He was a former member of the Afghani military who went into being a private defense contractor, and he survived several assassination attempts during extraction missions with the US military in Afghanistan, and he also worked extensively with NATO forces. I am really excited about this project because, you know, Khalid. His name is Khalid or rock, as his his friends call him in the military, Khalid is the definition of a true hero, and heroes come in every race, every you know he's, he's just, just an amazing, amazing man, and who put, who literally put his life on the line for American soldiers and for NATO forces in Afghanistan. And I'm really looking forward to finishing this film around him too, as well.

Robert Plank 26:51 Very cool, very exciting. Well, it sounds like you bring to life a lot of uncomfortable, unsettling, but necessary issues, right? There's all these things that, I mean, it would be, it would be great to just hide another rug, right? Hide, hide the police brutality, hide the domestic violence. But it's like, hey, we need to know about this stuff, and maybe it's uncomfortable. Or you think, Well, what's all this new stuff happening? No, it's been happening, right? And now it's like finally getting the light, and even though it doesn't feel good, well, it's it's better to not feel good temporarily and then do something about it, or at least if, if someone just is ignorant of it or has the wrong opinion, you can speak up and say, Hey, I saw this documentary. Like you should watch it too, and get yourself educated and know about what the what we need to change in the world and leave it better for that next generation. That way it's it's a upward incline, not a decline. And so we said that that documentary that's coming out soon, as soon as all that all gets figured out, is whistleblowers, and the the store online is Michio and as body care.com and then the brick and mortar store is the retreat at Cannon Beach RV park in Cannon Beach, Oregon. And we've been talking with Sharla adenican, and you can find her on LinkedIn by searching first name, S, O, L, A, last name, A, D, E, N, E, K, A, N, she's a transformative connector, a political technologist, an award winning documentarian and entrepreneur and an executive producer based out of Brooklyn, New York, but that brick and mortar store is at Cannon Beach, Oregon. And do we get all the links in? There are those some logical next steps after someone listens to our podcast.

Sola Adenekan 28:42 Yes, all the links are in there. Miss yanas bodycare.com is the main one I am pushing because domestic violence is just such a pertinent issue right now in our society.

Robert Plank 28:57 Yes, and we need to know more about it, and we need to be educated, both as far as the facts and the foundation, but also the what's going on currently and how all that it's a sticky, messy situation, but, but hey, we it's not going to go away just because we ignored it. So get educated. Missions, body care.com, and before I let you go, Miss Sharla, it's time for the scary part of the podcast where I try to put you on the spot, and I ask about a fun or interesting quote or lesson that has served you. So what comes to mind, as far as a quote or lesson?

Sola Adenekan 29:29 Yes, um, well, it's, it's, um, I think I was meditating the other day, and this came to me, and it's just so prevalent, relevant, I should say, not prevalent. And that is that the experience does not define the soul, but rather the soul defines the experience. Experience. So whatever we're experiencing in life, we should not be defined by that experience, because it is our character, our character that helps us navigate through those experiences. We see this often in history with very famous figures, and you know, if we look at ourselves too as well, we should not forget that, that our souls define experiences and not the other way around.

Robert Plank 30:31 That's beautiful. That's wonderful. You're not your past. That's all about resilience and adaptability and getting back up and making the best of it. And so you can make the best of it by going to michianas body care.com they are all about empowering domestic violence survivors through ethical body care. Michianas Body Care is a purpose driven social enterprise dedicated to empowering domestic violence survivors at every level of their operation, their premium body care products nurture your skin, and they contribute directly to healing and empowering vulnerable communities worldwide. Mission Jonas, bodycare.com Miss Charlotte dennikin, it's been quite an education, quite a entertaining few minutes speaking with you. Thanks for being here. Thanks for what you brought to me.

Sola Adenekan 31:19 Thank you very much for having me, Robert, it's been fantastic.